Should you tell family members how you feel about their choice of partner?

Should a parent tell their kids how they feel if they don't like who their children are dating?
Should a parent tell their kids how they feel if they don't like who their children are dating?
Should kids tell their parent how they feel about who their parent is dating?
As a sibling are you comfortable sharing negative feelings with your sibling regarding who they are dating?
As a friend, are you comfortable sharing negative feeling about who your friend is dating?
What was the outcome of sharing your feelings?
01/10/2012 Love & Relationships 10 points 110

Comments

  • deenie61 profile photo
    I have commented in the past, and wish I hadn't. As a parent, it's hard not to, but unless they pose certain harm I think it's best to stay out. And that goes double for little nonsense. My sons been engaged for ?3 years I think now. She's ready, he isn't entirely, and I tell them it should be 100% their decision, and not to let anyone else influence whether or when they get married. I did mess up and comment about the mess when I dropped by unannounced to give my son something. Of course he told her, and I was more or less banned because she was embarassed. Eventually I just barged in and I think she got over it but I don't bother them often. I grew up with an OCD mother when it came to cleaning. I vowed I'd never be like that but I like my floors clean at least, clutter's another topic lol. But I gave my son's fiance a complex, she considers my apartment soooo clean. Dull lighting, night visits help lol as I have really slowed down. But she recently saw cobwebs and feels better now. I'm glad she's more comfortable. Even if they don't stay together for any reason I'm keeping her and told her so.
    22 days
  • cemery96 profile photo
    Honesty is very important along with communication
    26 days
  • FairyGodmother profile photo
    Marriage is a big commitment and yes you should discuss with your parents or children but not with the boy/girl friend or proposed spouse being present. You need to listen to what family and friends are telling you without blowing up than discuss with boy/girl friend or spouse whether it is dating or a proposal. When you get married it is not just to that person but to the whole family. You don't want to close doors that cannot be opened again. You don't have to love everyone but if your married their will be times when there is a crack in door you can put your foot in! I have been married 45 years and my mother in law who hated the idea of us getting married became my confident and best friend. I later learned that she was only against us getting married before we graduated. To say the least we graduated without help from parents and let me tell you the money they saved for college was given to us on graduation and mad for a handsome down payment on a house. I am glad a left that crack open
    2 months
  • ladybugmaggie profile photo
    Yes especially if that person has a bad attitude!
    3 months
  • sruiz profile photo
    Gosh, its more difficult to share the feeling whether negative or any criticism to family rather then strangers and distant acquaintances.
    3 months
  • Sophia1957 profile photo
    Another 1 I did not vote on?????????????????
    4 months
  • redhaired_aries profile photo
    s long as you are nice about it, you should tell them how you feel. Then let them make the decision for themselves.
    4 months
  • Zyni profile photo
    I'm pretty open, so I speak up.
    5 months
  • crybabbee profile photo
    I have always been a very straight forward person. Now some people just don't like that about me and that's ok. I don't like to sugar coat, side step, or go around anything. I am up front and honest and a lot of people do like that about me, when it comes to those around me I like to let it be known that the people they are around are good, or not. Yes, it's just like reading a book by the cover too. My children are 16 and 17 and I tell them how I feel about who they are dating, after I get a feel for who the person is. They accept my criticism and that's that, the same goes for my friends and family. I always approach things with the I statement so they don't get offended, "I feel like..."
    5 months
  • aespike profile photo
    for some reason I just cant be honest about my friends bf and I'm quite jealous of him. I wonder what she would say if I told her that.
    6 months
  • Thirza profile photo
    It has been my experience on all sides that the minute any negative comment is made the person you are talking to stops hearing, gets defensive and flaunts their affection to prove their point. They get hurt 10 times worse and all you can do is watch. Be there to give advice WHEN ASKED and try not to make it negative, give options and ask what they think.
    6 months
  • Tessamia4 profile photo
    They asked so they got it.
    8 months
  • DaddyEvil profile photo
    It is not my business who my children date, just as it is not their business who I choose to date. If they don't like it, they can keep their opinions to themselves.
    9 months
  • armywifeak profile photo
    Things like this can break a family apart. I know from experience. If you have something to say about them, say it. Then thats it done, its been said, they know how you feel, its up to them.
    10 months
  • jeanena profile photo
    I believe in honesty , and I let my mom know when I thought she was making a mistake. I did the same with my best friend . I did the same with my daughter (not that it did any good). I think you should always feel like you can be honest about things like that. If they don't like it or don't want to hear it, usually it means they have already seen it for themselves .
    10 months
  • meganjansen profile photo
    I had to tell my brother that his girlfriend was cheating on him... she was a very good liar, he didn't break up with her until there was a picture of her online kissing someone else.
    10 months
  • SWEETBOY19 profile photo
    JUDGING PEOPLE IN FAMILY OR OUT IS NOT WHY GOD PUT US HERE ON THIS EARTH.
    10 months
  • misslady91787 profile photo
    People hate to hear anything nagative about who they are datin, even if it's from someone close and love them. They may even stop talkin to you!!! love make people blind sometimes its best to let them see on their own. (Some times that can be very hard).
    10 months
  • gr33nday324 profile photo
    It's always best to be truthful
    10 months
  • slufoot profile photo
    isn't that what being a parent is all about? or do you want to deprive your children the knowledge of your experience?
    11 months
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