Results: Need Advice on how to save Christmas in my home and keep everyone happy.
Published on 11/11/2023
My husband wants to treat our adult Kids like Children at Christmas and With inflation there has to be a limit.
QUESTIONS
GO to COMMENTS
Comments
1.
1.
My husband and I only received 1 gift each from our parents and we both thought that was appropriate and appreciated. He wants to shower our adult children in gifts every Christmas and it is totally breaking the bank. What can I say to get through to him, without another argument this year? Please comment below with your advice.
NA
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11 votes
n/a
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7 votes
None
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5 votes
unsure
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3 votes
not sure
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3 votes
I don't know
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2 votes
nothing
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2 votes
No idea I just give one gift to my children
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1 votes
Make a reasonable price range.A few stocking stufferrs and one reasonable priced wish gift.
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1 votes
Maybe the adults can do what we did put all of the names in a jar and each pick one person to buy for but you cant tell who you got a secret Santa thing and you can set a limit to spend..
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1 votes
I agree
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1 votes
It sounds to me like he's trying to buy their love.
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1 votes
Show him the bill.
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1 votes
No comment
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1 votes
Christmas presents are for younger children. With older adult children you should show your love in more mature ways.
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1 votes
If he can afford, do it. If it is breaking the bank, cut i back. My nieces and nephews give me useful/cheap gifts like a Bronco's hat.
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1 votes
Do you both work or just him ?
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1 votes
It's very sweet and thoughtful, but they are adults, so therefore should easily understand, especially with them dealing with inflation also, and one thoughtful gift each, is more personal/personalized, and saves your wallet...we can only do so much
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1 votes
Times have changed since you were a kid. Loosen the purse strings and buy appropriate gifts for your children.
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1 votes
Just explain that it is costing to much money with inflation and the cost of living to embelish the adults with gifts.
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1 votes
No gifts
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1 votes
My husband and I (now long retired on "fixed" incomes) have greatly pared down our Christmas gift list--and most recipients have not only gone along with that decision but appreciated it. Nothing is worth going into debt over!
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1 votes
Smarten Up
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1 votes
I always hate things like Christmas, because my mom always wants to buy me things, but as an adult, I just buy myself anything I want throughout the year. When she’s low on funds though, she puts together these badass little themed gift baskets with dollar store stuff. It’s usually useful stuff too, like socks or hand cream, so I don’t have to feel weird about keeping a bunch of stuff that I don’t really want, but can’t let go of because I happen to love it, and it’s a gift.
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1 votes
If it makes him happy, let him do it.
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1 votes
i have no idea, sorry
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1 votes
Let them grow up there adult's now..Don't you think you go a little to far with this..Tell him whatever he spends on them your taking the same amount and putting in savings for yourself..
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1 votes
They are no longer children and although you want to shower the with gifts, if you can afford it, don't.
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1 votes
Tell him to think about retirement ... if you're set up there and with an emergency account, then you can splurge on your kids
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1 votes
Let him do it. They will not be children forever.
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1 votes
Have a budget that is discussed and agreed to sometime in February and stick with it.
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1 votes
Focus on the giving and not the receiving, but you have to do it within your means.
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1 votes
Get em gifts
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1 votes
Don’t know
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1 votes
Put uour foot down.
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1 votes
srnd him to the grocery store with just 50 dollars and make sure he can make the food last a whole week.
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1 votes
Perhaps he can pick up a seasonal job in order to purchase the gifts so it does not take money from your household account
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1 votes
we should compromise and find a suitable number of gifts due to the economy.
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1 votes
Tell him if Jesus was born on Christmas, then Easter should be in late June.
(33.5 when he died, fulfilling prophesy)
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1 votes
I'm not sure
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1 votes
Have a budget. Grown children do not need more than one present at Christmas
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1 votes
we dont have the money
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1 votes
No idea
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1 votes
Need help
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1 votes
I don't know what to tell you!?
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1 votes
Ask the children to speak to him.
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1 votes
Good
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1 votes
Maybe he needs a reality check. Does he even know what your expenses are each month? Sit him down and add it all up then compare it to your monthly income. Maybe that will give him second thoughts on splurging for gifts. Or maybe your children could possibly tell him they don't want him spending so much in this economy?
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1 votes
It's not really the physical Christmas gifts that matters most on holidays like Christmas season, but the family bonding, cause otherwise , showering the adult children with presents every Christmas would make them even more materialistic, cause they're used to it already.
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1 votes
May the lord guide you
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1 votes
Give him a strict budget and ask for help from your children
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1 votes
Say the word "NO"
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1 votes
I have no idea
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1 votes
My ex-husband use to do the same thing, but as our children got older they realized that so many gifts were nice but they could only play for one at a time. As they got older the realized that there were so many children without that they wanted to give half of their gifts to children without. The smiles on their faces when those children open those gifts were exciting for them and us as well.
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1 votes
In our family we switched from presents to just filling stockings - which became quite fun - everything from something useful (can you say 'fun socks') to 'silver dollars', candy and (un)useful stuff from the dollar store. As my parents got older, my sister and I took over the stocking filling with my brothers (ocassionally) contributing. Dont spend a bunch of money on adult children.
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1 votes
There were always a lot of presents under the tree at Christmas. But, they were small gifts. For instance, my Mom would buy me a pair of earrings or a t-shirt or a pair of gloves. Sometimes, she bought gifts for me to use in my school classroom to provide for kids who came from families that couldn't provide tools for learning. The gifts were never expensive (no more than $25) but I opened probably 30 presents under the tree every year. The joy was in the opening, not the expense of the gift.
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1 votes
Don't charge anything
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1 votes
Pay the bills and save then splurge.
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1 votes
We are Bankrupt
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1 votes
Great deed
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1 votes
This is kind of hard to know without knowing your husband's personality. Have you sat him down and told him how hard it is on your budget? If you do all the financial things maybe he doesn't realize how hard it is on you. Communication could be lacking. Otherwise, maybe suggest cutting back and/or giving one gift to all in the form of a day out at a park of some sort?
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1 votes
Tell him if so, he has to give up something he loves.
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1 votes
His kids are not kids anymore, they are grown adults and as much as they appreciate the jesture, one gift should be plenty for each and each of his kids could write a list of 10 things that they would want and there should be a cap limit on the amount he is to spend on each of their adult kids so that it does not break the bank and the adult kids should also be told what the cap amount is so that they don't go overboard with what they want.
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1 votes
your husband is the head of the family and if what he says is Gods will you must abide by his decision
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1 votes
Stop. Be an adult for a change.
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1 votes
Love of money is the root of all evil. Giving gifts that has negative effects on your finances isn't wise and I would hope your adult children would understand that. It is sad how commercial holidays are to target the pockets of consumers which big corporations are making huge profits at consumers expense. Hope this helps. The corporations don't care about you or you or your finances. They only care about profits
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1 votes
we received a lot as children then w did secret santa as we got older with the other family members.
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1 votes
it is xmas so just watch and enjoy
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1 votes
Just tell them the facts.
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1 votes
I don't gift my adult kids but I do gift my grand kids and great grand kids
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1 votes
Im not one to give advice because I have the same problem as your husband
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1 votes
i shower my children also with gifts
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1 votes
Tell him that they would prefer cash to buy what they need/want. As adults, they will love the flexibility of actual cash. For you, it is easier to make it 'fair' between them. The real celebration should be fun time together. Do things like play board games or whatever was done when the children were home.
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1 votes
J'aime beaucoup moi aussi, faire des cadeaux à mes enfants. Je me fixe toujours un montant à ne pas dépasser. L'important pour moi, c'est de ne pas prendre mes cartes de crédit. Durant toute l'année, je mets de côté 15$ par semaine pour faire mes cadeaux de Noel.
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1 votes
I've never been in that situation / guess I'd ask him to at least let's try to cut the presents in half this year and take it from there.
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1 votes
Do they appreciate it!!
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1 votes
Quit spending so much
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1 votes
It is about living within your means. Talk to him about your feelings.
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1 votes
Give him a pre-paid credit card with the limit he can spend
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1 votes
DO your children not work?? Can they not afford presents?
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1 votes
If he insists, buy throughout the year things on clearance and store until Christmas.
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1 votes
Listen to your wife.
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1 votes
I have no idea. Maybe tell him let's try giving our children 2 gifts from each of us. Or give them all one gift of a experience like a vacation.
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1 votes
If he wants to spend more than you can afford on Christmas gifts tell him to get a part time job to pay for the gifts
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1 votes
Don't do it.
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1 votes
remind him of the rising costs of prices and the need to stick to a budget
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1 votes
Do what settles the fight
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1 votes
Just say NO!
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1 votes
Show him the numbers and tell him if he doesn't stop you won't have money for shelter and food!!
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1 votes
Time to grow up
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1 votes
NOT A PLACE TO GET ADVICE
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1 votes
Totally inappropriate, breaking the bank for any holiday or gift. it is not financially wise.
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1 votes
Sorry I can't give couples advice on kids. Personally we only got one gift and didn't think it was a big issue. I think kids get way too much these days.
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1 votes
nothing, what better way to spend money
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1 votes
You could express your feelings in a sincere and understanding way. You could say something like, "I love the idea of giving gifts to our kids, but I think we could find a balance so we don't go broke.
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1 votes
I think one gift each is enough ,if you can afford it ,and your husband should realize that.
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1 votes
Get rid of him.....
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1 votes
Ask the children about what the most meaningful gift they would like and limit his spending to that one gift for each of the children.
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1 votes
Nothing!
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1 votes
be thankfu he is willing to give gifts to others/ my husban only thinks about himself
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1 votes
je n'est vie seule
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1 votes
Focus on the real meaning of Christmas; the birth of our Savior.
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1 votes
Good luck.
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1 votes
don't do it then they will except this every year,, boy one nice thing they want and they would appearance it more.
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1 votes
They need us and our love first 1 gift whatever size can say that and continue all year. Then have enough money for a special day later for everyone together.
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1 votes
The season is not about the gifts but is about the birth and the most important thing is the people that gathered to celebrate that day. They didnt bring gifts but they came together wtih joy and excitement. .
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1 votes
Just discuss financing with him
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1 votes
Remember why we celebrate Christmas
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1 votes
many people do 4
something they want
something they need
something to wear
something to read
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1 votes
Start a Christmas fund? If you crack down too hard he may just do it behind your back.
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1 votes
In my family only kids get gifts. We all (adults and kids and grandkids) get together and have a great dinner.
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1 votes
Xxx
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1 votes
Life is short Let him be happy
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1 votes
Only buy what you can afford and what they can use or need.
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1 votes
Set a limit together and stick to it.
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1 votes
no clue
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1 votes
I have no suggestions. He loves his kids, obviously.
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1 votes
You can still buy lots of gifts, just not expensive ones. Shop the clearance areas.
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1 votes
Compromise maybe 2 gifts each.
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1 votes
Just 1 gift
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1 votes
The last thing I would want is for my parents to have financial hardship because of me or to have an argument because of me.
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1 votes
Just don’t
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1 votes
send him to buy the gifts.
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1 votes
Keep it simple
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1 votes
Adult children should understand that they aren't going to get a lot of gifts from their parents. One or two thoughtful gifts is plenty.
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1 votes
Draw up a budget showing all your and his income and expenses. Show him how much is available for gifts and where HE PERSONALLY could cut back to allow HIM to spend more. Show him how much YOU are willing to spend. Also tell him that if HE is willing to receive nothing, you could spend more on the kids.
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1 votes
Just stop
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1 votes
I have no kids at all, but as an adult, my sister and I got showered with presents. However, most were things we 'needed' and it was a family joke to wrap stuff that we bought over the year for each other. sometimes if the gift was an immediate 'must have' we'd start using the gift but wrap the box and open it on Christmas.
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1 votes
we cannot afford it and I want to live comfortably this next years
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1 votes
Discuss an affordable budget and stick with it.
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1 votes
I would just get two gifts at a reasonable price and then give them cash up to what I can afford
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1 votes
There should be a spending limit set per child.
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1 votes
be smart about your cash this year!
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1 votes
1 gift each & go over budget
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1 votes
Be reasonable
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1 votes
I have no advice
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1 votes
Save the money for there later years in life for education.
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1 votes
This year we are forgoing gifts to our adult children, and instead spending money on a family trip early next year.
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1 votes
Candy
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1 votes
Honey, let there be a limit they are no
longer kids.
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1 votes
Past eighteen only token gifts or gift cards in the same amount per person.
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1 votes
You can say, we just can't afford that this year. Our children will understand.
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1 votes
Just try to meet somewhere in the middle.
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1 votes
It's not the quantity that matters, it's the thought and appropriateness of the gifts.
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1 votes
Just sit down and discuss finances with him and show him how much expenditures affect your budget
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1 votes
It sounds like both of you are retired. If that is the case then maybe you should remind him of what your budget is and if he wants to spend more he should go out and get a job to make the difference.
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1 votes
Tell him you don’t have the money to do that and that your kids should understand it. They’re not children anymore. If you have grandchildren that maybe a different story. Good luck.
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1 votes
not much.he is not willing to change
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1 votes
Children should be able to get a sensible gift m
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1 votes
A gift is what counts, you don't have to be extravagant.
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1 votes
I can understand why he wants to do this; maybe it's time to bring the adult "kids" in on this and help discourage him.
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1 votes
Make a budget in advance and stick to it.
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1 votes
Threaten to get separate bank accounts so he doesn't spend your retirement money.
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1 votes
Husbands dn't listen in any case, so just mellow out.
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1 votes
We cannot afford to do this.
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1 votes
Instead of trying to decide how many gifts to give , set a dollar amount per person. You can give one $50 gift or 5 $10 gifts,
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1 votes
Tell him you can't afford it.
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1 votes
Don't need to give any gift to adult children
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1 votes
Save your money since the children are adults now and even if they were young children. Ask the adult children to write a list of items that they want/need for the holidays that can help them and not just be there for a few months then see what you can afford on the list. Also do secret santa with the children so they can pick items less than $30-$50 per person...inflation or not people need to save money and stop spending like they are Congress.
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1 votes
The kids have said they don't need anything- they have it all. a gift card to their favorite place is plenty.
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1 votes
Do up a sheet with income in and expenses out.
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1 votes
Just be happy!!
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1 votes
To honor his wishes and your budget, have him choose one special gift for each child. If he wants more recommend he make something for each kid because personally made gifts are much more memorable than out-of-the-store gifts that everyone gets
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1 votes
No need to give many gifts unless they are in great need
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1 votes
Christmas should not be about gifts and spending money. That's all I can say. Even my husband and I don't exchange gifts because it simply isn't important to us.
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1 votes
set a limit and have hubby follow the guided limit
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1 votes
DON'T HAVE CHILDREN
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1 votes
budget , budget , and more budget
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1 votes
I'm for several gifts for the kids and also a stocking. Perhaps a compomise of some fun gifts and some practica gifts?
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1 votes
No. Donate to a non profit in their name or one gift for each or a shared such as a dual spa day. The same with them to you guys--one gift for both or separate.
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1 votes
If everyone is an adult, treat them like an adult - for a change.
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1 votes
We can’t afford to do this
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1 votes
Money is so tight this year we cannot afford to buy even one gift. Not sure what to tell you.
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1 votes
They are adults; get them a gift card for a restaurant for something.
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1 votes
We tried very hard to stick to a budget so I highly recommend that you sit down before & decide on an agreeable amount to spend on each person! We give our adult children socks (which they want & need) & cash!
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1 votes
Whatever you try to do it probably won't help.
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1 votes
I would ask my adult children to request that their father stop showering them with gifts.
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1 votes
I always buy for my aduit children they are my children and alwys will no matter how old they get.
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1 votes
I agree with your husband. I do the same thing.
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1 votes
gi
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1 votes
Break down the cost of each gift in details in figures, if he do not have the cash in hand to pay it off in full add the interest on the debt, very nicely put it into an envelope and address it to him. See how this goes. And also add the amount to your monthly bills let him see how long he will take to pay it off. Good luck.
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1 votes
tell him if he wants to break the bank every year then he better make sure you have enough to live on and for emergencies that may come up
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1 votes
Tell him that your kids are adults. If they want something, they'll buy it themselves. And tell him you'll be broke the rest of the year maybe?
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1 votes
I would talk to your adult children, explain your situation and ask them to tell your husband not to spend so much this year.
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1 votes
Suggest that you and your husband develop a budget to follow.
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1 votes
Gifts cost too much
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1 votes
set a limit and stay within it
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1 votes
it is not how many gifts you get or give, it is what counts is what is in your heart, besides this will teach your children that how many gifts they get is not always the best, is how appreciative of what you have and get, just give thanks for what you have
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1 votes
it is time to step back and appreciate the little things in life
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1 votes
The money is coming out of your Gambling money!
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1 votes
your kids if adults are too old for being pampered. I already told my parents not to get me anything when I was a freshman in high school. And if they really wanted to get me something, I would choose something out I could really use.
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1 votes
Sit and set a budget with your husband
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1 votes
If your husband is as stubborn as a rock, nothing will get through to him.
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1 votes
put your foot down
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1 votes
He can get another side job and pay for then presents himself
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1 votes
We set a budget for each person and then however many gifts fit within that price is what they get.
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1 votes
Let us shop within reason for reasonable gifts
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1 votes
I give my adult kids tons of gifts so I’m not the one to ask.
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1 votes
be r
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1 votes
It's not the gifts they receive but the thoughts behind the gifts. Numbers are merely that "numbers". When you give many gifts they are usually not appreciated but One gift, given from the heart with meaning is worth more than a thousand.
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1 votes
Set a limit of $50 per person. We have been doing that for the past 5 years.
This works both ways. The kids and or each person including spouses also
have to each spend $50 on us too. Presents work both ways. Grand kids are excluded.
We spend $50 on each grandkid either as a gift certificate or gift depending on age.
Also non of us actually need gifts, so we buy gift certicates and for the wife and I we
get restaurants we frequent. I like eating out.
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1 votes
Just say NO
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1 votes
If you have to borrow to give gifts it's not a good idea, it will make you feel guilty after it over ..
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1 votes
Time and attention are worth more than gifts and money.
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1 votes
Talk to your adult children, hope they say you're correct. If they do have them talk with your husband and then he'll get it straight from the horses' mouth
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1 votes
Give half the number or half the cost.
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1 votes
You understand that he wants to shower them with gifts, but you’re also not a billionaire
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1 votes
Gift card specific to each child
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1 votes
My budget only allows very limited gifts.
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1 votes
We usually give gift cards to our adult children so that they can use them as they please.
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1 votes
A family gathering is the best reward.
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1 votes
Ask him to use wisdom in buying because of the economy's instability
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1 votes
Seriously, this must be a problem. Tell him being in financial distress must stop! Each person loves someone in a different way yet guilt or obligation is not good reasons to “ break the bank” each year.
Without interference, perhaps you should think of whether you own a joint account together, then try to take control of your own situation. Resolve the problem.
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1 votes
Exactly what you've written.
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1 votes
Sit him down and explain everything on how it is hurting you all financially and how the children are grown and I'm sure are thankful for just to ha e you all around. The is the best gift of all
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1 votes
let him have his way
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1 votes
Why not consider just giving the grandchildren a couple of gifts and give the rest of the money, that would be "wasted", to a charity and put it to better use.
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1 votes
not sure .
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1 votes
I really don't know
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1 votes
no
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1 votes
I really have no advice for you
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1 votes
ONE GIFT IS PLENTY
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1 votes
Since the kids are adult they should realize that everything is much more expensive. Suggest to the kids that they talk to their dad and suggest to him that everybody cut back in gifts.
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1 votes
give him a budget and tell him to stick to it
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1 votes
Remember your happy childhood Christmas
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1 votes
Sorry I can;;t help.
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1 votes
Celebrate the season, don't celebrate gifts.
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1 votes
I have 3 children. 2 live in other states and I do not see them for the holidays so they just get gift cards. However 1 does live by me and comes over for Christmas and I am guilty of giving him more than 1 gift.
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1 votes
Let him use his own money
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1 votes
I don' know
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1 votes
ugh
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1 votes
Ask him if you really think that any of the kids needs the shower of gifts. If any of your kids are disabled or poor, it might be understandable to want to help them. If not, his behavior might be unreasonable.
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1 votes
Teach them to give and not just receive. If they are adults, it's time they learned that.
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1 votes
TELL HIM THE MONEY IS NOT THERE AND THST ONE GIFT IS ENOUGH
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1 votes
Tell him to take a serious look at your bank account/finances
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1 votes
tell him they are adult now they received gift like an adult
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1 votes
Tell him every penny he spends beyond the '1 gift limit' is his responsibility to get, pay for wrap amd present it
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1 votes
He should do the shopping with a limited budget and wrap the gifts himself too.
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1 votes
You won't win this one.
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1 votes
we ask each other what we need and purchase that adult children dont need to be treated like little children they can buy their own stuff
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1 votes
that is a tough question without stepping into your marriage
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1 votes
my ex was the same, until we came to an agreement, would would have a certain amount such as $100 each kid and buy either one gift or many gifts within that budget.
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1 votes
gift
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1 votes
Stop giving gifts to adults. The first year will feel weird then you'll all appreciate the lower stress, lowered expectations, and you'll come to value the togetherness as people more. Gifts are for children or rare occasions and not expected or mandated because of a calendar number. If it really bothers you, pick a random date on the calendar in the future and give them a gift then that is totally a surprise. They'll remember that even more I promise you.
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1 votes
idk
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1 votes
Don't. He should cherish You.
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1 votes
prety good
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1 votes
A person can not buy love. One really thought out gift even if not expensive is good and should be appreciated. Hope that this helps.
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1 votes
Just go with the flow. I am like your husband, but my spouse does what she wants and I just go with the flow...accept what she does and don't argue. As she does what she wants!
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1 votes
Do the kids really appreciate all those gifts
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1 votes
each family has to make their own decisions in how much they spend, but should make a budget and stick to it.
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1 votes
I guess remind him how you treasured your gift. Also, think about how badly the adult children would feel if they were the reason you were “breaking the bank”
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1 votes
Suggest that the holiday is getting too commercialized and refocus on values like caring for those less fortunate (WWJD? Christmas should be a celebration of Jesus and I'm Jewish). As a family volunteer together and/or donate to charity instead of giving gifts to each other.
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1 votes
Time together is more important than any gifts:)
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1 votes
1 gift a piece. I also have adult children. I give them 1 gift a piece and shower my grandchildren with gifts galore.
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1 votes
I an guilty,of the same thing,and it took at least 5 years for my wife to convince me other wise,but i came around to her way of thinking
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1 votes
I live alone and have no real family left. I never married and have no kids but I do have apet kitty cat Plummy who is both companion and confidante to me. I buy my own gifts for myself and my surviving brother whose birthday is 4 December I always buy him WalMart gift cards and have them sent to him for both birthday and Xmas. However, he, like the rest of our clans only buy gifts at Xmas for children. They say it is too expensive to buy and exchange gifts so many of them do not even send Xmas or birthday cards! I admit it. I spoil my Plummy same as if she were my daughter. No matter how many kitty toys i buy for ehr, she seems to prefer doggie toys and her fave toys are empty plastic wrappers on food and our daily rags. As long as she is happy, I do not mind buying her nice things.
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1 votes
I don't have any comments
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1 votes
Set him straight.
0%
1 votes
If they live with you sent a budget for each adult child and stick to it. If something cost 100 dollars and that is your amount one gift purchased. If you can get one or more for the same amount then decide on 2 or 3. If your adult child live elsewhere, why not draw names among yourselves and set an amount that everyone agrees with
0%
1 votes
dont know
0%
1 votes
tell them they are grown.
0%
1 votes
Honey, they are grown adults and make enough money to fend for themselves
0%
1 votes
It's a good time to work
0%
1 votes
Let him do what he wants with His money.
0%
1 votes
I would "forget" to go shopping. I have adult kids too. Some don't speak to Mr. 1 speaks to me and lives here but has a job and buys his own food.. I'm. Buying nothing for them. But I am lucky: my husband hates Christmas.
0%
1 votes
I always go overboard with gifts for my children and grandchildren. They are always appreciative and keep telling me not to spend any money on them. Showering them with gifts and seeing the joy of receiving and opening the present are the best for me. They are loving, supportive, and wonderful to me, and I am happy to reciprocate with lots of gifts at Christmas.
0%
1 votes
no advice
0%
1 votes
I believe that one special gift for each adult is thoughtful and kind. It's definitely enough. Christmas needs to be more about spending time with the ones we love. Sharing a brunch or dinner together. If your husband just can't help himself, maybe give stockings to each person, instead. This way you two could buy a few smaller girts and some favourite candy, and fill the stockings, instead. I hope this helps. Good luck.
0%
1 votes
Don't know
0%
1 votes
We decided no gifts to adults in our family of 8 adults & 6 children. We give to the grandchildren but our adult children insist on giving to us. Knowing this, my wife buys for our adult children every year. I can't stop her - so I don't try.
0%
1 votes
I cannot help since I am the same way, plus spoiling the grandchildren/
0%
1 votes
I give the adults one gift each or sometimes a joint gift. The grandchildren get more.
0%
1 votes
Tell him that the economy of the country is bad, you guys have to invest more and spend less, besides the children are now adults and can fend for themselves
0%
1 votes
I have no suggestions
0%
1 votes
Due to retirement and inflation, we have cut back on gift spending. We get them all a gift/gift card and a Christmas ornament.
0%
1 votes
Best way is to explain to your kids that it's "breaking the bank" and let them tell your husband, their dad, that one "gift from the heart" is all they want. Something memorable that doesn't cost a lot. A nice dinner one on one or a shared hobby etc. I get that he wants to love them but it doesn't have to be financial, sometimes just time with someone is the best gift.
0%
1 votes
id explain to him that this isnt going to work and you need to do something different
0%
1 votes
Spoil your kids when you still have them or when they like to visit you.
0%
1 votes
Two options:
1. Have a famiy gathering and each person bring one affordable gift. Then at some point gather around and play a game whereby after picking a number from those placed in the hat and placing all those wonderfully wrapped gifts in the center, each takes a turn choosing a gift. Of course, if someone else prefers your gift, when it's their turn they can choose lthat one.
2. Stop buying gifts for your adult childrn once they begin working. Concentrate one the grndchildren.
0%
1 votes
gifts should never be required nor expected
0%
1 votes
The price of food is going up
0%
1 votes
Do you want to have a happy marriage.
0%
1 votes
give one gift card for an adult child
0%
1 votes
just say no and that's it. Christmas is so over rated.
0%
1 votes
our family rules for christmas gifts was that once you hit 18, gifts were out. you shouldn't expect any and you didn't have to give any. the joy of christmas for adults should be in the friendship and enjoyment of each other. we would give gifts to the kids...
0%
1 votes
this is the season to be together, not getting gifts. the greatest gift is love and being together
0%
1 votes
Get a grip
0%
1 votes
Just tell him no.
0%
1 votes
Love is all you need not material things these things break and fade love and times together are forever
0%
1 votes
I would try and explain to him that at a point in time you realize Santa Claus is your parents. After this I would voice my opinion that the way you get gifts from your parents seems appropriate. Then I would explain to your kids that abundant gifts is now going to be one very special gift. Rationalization may kick in. Merry Christmas
0%
1 votes
QUICK! Ask him if he can look hard as HELL for the best discounts for the things he's trying to buy.
0%
1 votes
In our home we set a price limit and buy what we can on their list but they understand we only have so much money. So far nobody has complained but we strive to get the most important item first.they are both young adults age 13 & 15.
0%
1 votes
It is the thought that counts.
0%
1 votes
Only $100 per child
0%
1 votes
It is not wise to give more than you can comfortably afford, and it can spoil them.
0%
1 votes
You could suggest a limit on the cost
0%
1 votes
if they have chidren I buy for the children not the adults
0%
1 votes
I am the same way as your husband.
0%
1 votes
Need to save for retirement because our health will worsen
0%
1 votes
spend less and enjoy each other more
0%
1 votes
Try suggesting gifts of experiences, not things. And/or something that doesn't cost money. Most of the gifts I have given which have been most popular have been the ones that cost the least cash. One year, when I was a totally broke university student, I found a box of old pictures and decorated my Dad's wall. Dad was delighted and it didn't cost a cent.
0%
1 votes
compromise with more than one but less than waste
0%
1 votes
I"m not really sure. We finally decided that we , with our adult children, would adopt other families and do some other giving for the holidays instead of gifts for each other,
0%
1 votes
they are adults now, lets not spoil them because then they will expect it every year and frankly we cannot afford it.
0%
1 votes
Just Tell Him You Can't Afford It!!
0%
1 votes
Christmas is about family, not things (gifts)....
0%
1 votes
I'm probably more like your husband and I struggle with this. At their ages I was married with kids - none of my adult children are married yet and only one has a significant other. I guess that seems to prolong the childhood. I do need to set more limits and am trying to do that this year. I don't even think they expect it. I think it is just me feeling like I'm responsible for their Christmas since they don't have their own families. You are totally right to want to set limits - maybe ease into it with your husband and compromise - also make sure he is doing the shopping if he is the one that gift giving is important to - it is easy to love traditions when you don't have responsibility for making them happen.
0%
1 votes
He should be mature enough to realize what you are saying!
0%
1 votes
sow him the expenses on paper so he can see the damage
0%
1 votes
Spoiling them won’t help
0%
1 votes
Might have to put you foot down. Show him that you can't afford to keep doing that. Then set a limit as to how much you will spend on each person.
0%
1 votes
Search for really good sales..that is how I pull off Christmas every year.
0%
1 votes
Just start by at least cutting back
0%
1 votes
Honey, can we celebrate Christmas this year with our family by just having a family dinner. Let us not buy any gifts this year. It is time for a change
0%
1 votes
only have 1
0%
1 votes
put everyones name in a hat, and each pick a name, just buy one gift for the name you pulled, can set a higher gift price limit, but is still cheaper and easier than buying for everyone
0%
1 votes
Ask each child what special gift they want for Christmas. Buy gift according to their wants. My children came up with the ideal because they don’t want to be over loaded with unwanted gifts. If we plan to spend more than the cost of the gift they asked for, we add cash in a card.
0%
1 votes
Who does the shopping? I would give one gift that does not seem necessary at this stage in the children's lives.
0%
1 votes
As children, we usually got one big gift from mom and dad, one of clothing and then something smaller like an ornament or something to go with the larger one, plus a stocking of stuff from Santa. Also, there may be a smaller gift from Santa, just depending on what fit in the stocking. Now, we get a stocking, one larger gift like a gift card for somewhere and then one of clothing. And generally, that’s sufficient enough. But we don’t have a large family outside of us three to buy for now. Makes a huge difference on what you buy for one another when you don’t need to buy for many others on top of that.
0%
1 votes
Can't spend what we dont have.
0%
1 votes
Are they hard working adults? Do the adult children feel entitled to these handouts?
0%
1 votes
tell him you are going to be bankrupt
0%
1 votes
Maybe a lesser expensive gifting ,usually it works for our Family of 9 and growing.
0%
1 votes
Finds the cheapest version of the products. This way he gets to spoil and you get to save.
0%
1 votes
it depends on your financial situation, I spend more on my children who aren't married versus my married children
0%
1 votes
My dog
0%
1 votes
Christmas is a time to celebrate our lord, appreciate what we have and celebrate we have this time to share with each other it is not a time to be expect gifts, especially if your an adult. Gifts are for children from Santa Clause.
0%
1 votes
If the children are adults they don't need to be showered with a lot of presents. Pick one item that you know they would really like but they might not necessarily buy for themselves.
0%
1 votes
If you have the money to shower your kids with gifts, then give now I guess? If you do not have the money, don't be a foolish Dad. Give now, and cry later for help.
0%
1 votes
Show your bank account? Does he have anything to do with the finances?
0%
1 votes
he is overcompensating for something. going broke to shower adult children with gifts is not healthy.
0%
1 votes
It’s nice to give our children gifts but if your budget isn’t enough to keep you from breaking the bank as you said maybe smaller gifts at different times in the year might work. Since they’re adults they ought to understand your situation. Speaking from experience here
0%
1 votes
Pick your battles wisely.. Will this be the hill to die on.. you can't take money to the grave..
0%
1 votes
You can't by love. Spending time together should be emough.
0%
1 votes
DO WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD
0%
1 votes
anonymous?
0%
1 votes
"Remember what our parents gave us?"
0%
1 votes
2.
2.
How many gifts do you give your adult kid at christmas if you have them, or how many would you expect from your parents. 1
24%
525 votes
2-3
23%
508 votes
4-5
9%
196 votes
5+
6%
141 votes
Not Applicable
39%
851 votes
3.
3.
How much is reasonable to spend on each adult child? $20
22%
487 votes
$50
42%
923 votes
$100+
36%
790 votes
4.
4.
Does anybody else here in Tellwut have that problem at Christmas or any other Holiday? Yes
14%
314 votes
No
51%
1120 votes
Undecided
11%
231 votes
Not Applicable
24%
535 votes
COMMENTS