Results: Shakespeare's dirty jokes

Hamlet - (Act 3, scene 2) HAMLET: "Lady, shall I lie in your lap? OPHELIA: No, my lord. HAMLET: I mean, my head upon your lap?OPHELIA: Ay, my lord. HAMLET: Do you think I meant country matters? OPHELIA: I think nothing, my lord. HAMLET: That's a fair thought to lie between maids' legs. OPHELIA: What is, my lord? HAMLET: Nothing." Pretty self explanatory the suggestiveness here. Sill dirty by today's standards?

Twelfth Night - (Act 2, scene 5) MALVOLIO: "By my life, this is my lady's hand these be her very C's, her U's and her T's and thus makes she her great P's." This works better spoken aloud, but think you get the idea. Still dirty?

Othello - (Act 1, scene 1) IAGO: "I am one, sir, that comes to tell you your daughter and the Moor are now making the beast with two backs". Some horizontal refreshment, rumpity bumpity, amorous congress? Still kinda dirty?

Titus Andronicus - (Act 4, scene 2) CHIRON: "Thou hast undone our mother. AARON: Villain, I have done thy mother." Yeppers, even back in Shakespeare's day there were "Yo mamma" jokes. Maybe more offensive than dirty, but still work today?

The Taming of the Shrew - (Act 2, scene 1) PETRUCHIO: "Who knows not where a wasp does wear his sting? In his tail. KATHARINA: In his tongue. PETRUCHIO: Whose tongue? KATHARINA: Yours, if you talk of tails: and so farewell. PETRUCHIO: What, with my tongue in your tail?" Kinky talk, or come off dirty today?

Romeo and Juliet - (Act 2, scene1) MERCUTIO: "Oh, that she were an open arse, and thou a popp'rin pear." Um, er...okay, draw your own conclusions, dirty today?