When you have been in the relationship for just over 17 years and have a 16 year old child together there were some red flags of mental health through the years. He is quiet, never shown a lot of emotion and grumpy alot and a "woe is me" type I new he had trauma from child hood (He is now 50) through most of the years after our child was born seemed more like friends because of the lack of affection and things you expect in relationship I gave up trying eventually because was depressing not getting hugged back feeling ignored and was battling with depression etc then approx 3 years ago all the sudden he started showing emotion and also being more how he was when we first started dating because how I described started more so after the birth and I was on cloud 9 so many years feeling alone all I wanted was happening holding my hand giving me kisses everything that lasted with no issues for about 9 months we even were planning wedding my daughter was happy to see her parents like this and excited for a wedding..Then I woke up one day and he was gone (not physically)and out of know where he was no longer him he became very paranoid thinking I was cheating literally every other week was a different person was accusing me about abuse started mentally, psychologically, and physically he thought at times I was hiding them in the house and our friends and family were in on it he trusted noone even our daughter she was in on it to he would take things like a jacket I loved as an example and cut it in half had it laying on floor for me to find I would take different articles of clothes out to where and there would be slit through it would have to be thrown away then went from thoughts to seeing the person he would bring our ring cameras up say see while I was gone he came out of the house and it be someone walking by but in his head was the person he thinks is around then became smell he would get angry say there's the smell that cologne he needs to come out and yell threaten the person like they were in the house then was hearing them he would come running up steps say I heard you telling him to hurry you were sneaking him out he would say he hears there cell ringing and I had them in the trunk when I would challenge him to look that noone is here and there wont look and gets very angry and defensive if I life up bed show noone is there its I somehow snuck them out when had back turned again gets very angry if you reason with words same reaction... then the moments in between its still being the affectionate person which helped me get though... I had that to hold onto and he just needs help its not his fault then became more days where he was having these episodes and got scarier at about the 1 year mark was very very bad and I could not get him to go get help then few months after that all the sudden he was gone again just silence barely talking to me even to our daughter I new thoughts were still there because at random moments if we got in an argument or he was annoyed or mad about something he would say comments that was still and thinks I am out to be horrible person to him everyone is out to get him doesn't trust anyone not sure what to do if I don't get him help who will he doesn't have really anyone else and the ones he does like his mom doesn't believe in therapy nothing like that and she is not a very nice person and was a horrible mother and he would have no where to go I just know if he got help things will be better ... I have spent so many years with him from my late 20's (I am now 46) I feel strong enough now if I had to walk away but even then I still love care about him and father my child I don't want to just leave him sick and with no one and nowhere to go :(