Results: Fiance's Mental Health Stay or Go?...
When you have been in the relationship for just over 17 years and have a 16 year old child together there were some red flags of mental health through the years. He is quiet, never shown a lot of emotion and grumpy alot and a "woe is me" type I new he had trauma from child hood (He is now 50) through most of the years after our child was born seemed more like friends because of the lack of affection and things you expect in relationship I gave up trying eventually because was depressing not getting hugged back feeling ignored and was battling with depression etc then approx 3 years ago all the sudden he started showing emotion and also being more how he was when we first started dating because how I described started more so after the birth and I was on cloud 9 so many years feeling alone all I wanted was happening holding my hand giving me kisses everything that lasted with no issues for about 9 months we even were planning wedding my daughter was happy to see her parents like this and excited for a wedding..Then I woke up one day and he was gone (not physically)and out of know where he was no longer him he became very paranoid thinking I was cheating literally every other week was a different person was accusing me about abuse started mentally, psychologically, and physically he thought at times I was hiding them in the house and our friends and family were in on it he trusted noone even our daughter she was in on it to he would take things like a jacket I loved as an example and cut it in half had it laying on floor for me to find I would take different articles of clothes out to where and there would be slit through it would have to be thrown away then went from thoughts to seeing the person he would bring our ring cameras up say see while I was gone he came out of the house and it be someone walking by but in his head was the person he thinks is around then became smell he would get angry say there's the smell that cologne he needs to come out and yell threaten the person like they were in the house then was hearing them he would come running up steps say I heard you telling him to hurry you were sneaking him out he would say he hears there cell ringing and I had them in the trunk when I would challenge him to look that noone is here and there wont look and gets very angry and defensive if I life up bed show noone is there its I somehow snuck them out when had back turned again gets very angry if you reason with words same reaction... then the moments in between its still being the affectionate person which helped me get though... I had that to hold onto and he just needs help its not his fault then became more days where he was having these episodes and got scarier at about the 1 year mark was very very bad and I could not get him to go get help then few months after that all the sudden he was gone again just silence barely talking to me even to our daughter I new thoughts were still there because at random moments if we got in an argument or he was annoyed or mad about something he would say comments that was still and thinks I am out to be horrible person to him everyone is out to get him doesn't trust anyone not sure what to do if I don't get him help who will he doesn't have really anyone else and the ones he does like his mom doesn't believe in therapy nothing like that and she is not a very nice person and was a horrible mother and he would have no where to go I just know if he got help things will be better ... I have spent so many years with him from my late 20's (I am now 46) I feel strong enough now if I had to walk away but even then I still love care about him and father my child I don't want to just leave him sick and with no one and nowhere to go :(
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Let me know.. Yes=STAY STICK IT OUT... NO=GO, WALK AWAY.. and can leave a comment maybe advice have been though similar or know someone who has .. maybe insight on what he is suffering from YES= STAY TRY TO STICK IT OUT...
22%
•
374 votes
NO= GO, WALK AWAY...
58%
•
979 votes
Other (please specify)
22%
•
377 votes
| Other Answers | Percentage | Votes |
| 7.05% | 122 | |
| N/A | 1.62% | 28 |
| NA | 0.87% | 15 |
| not sure | 0.35% | 6 |
| unsure | 0.23% | 4 |
| Undecided | 0.17% | 3 |
| I don't know | 0.17% | 3 |
| TLDR | 0.17% | 3 |
| Don't know | 0.12% | 2 |
| no comment | 0.12% | 2 |
| not interested | 0.12% | 2 |
| Get him some help | 0.12% | 2 |
| Get help | 0.12% | 2 |
| Run!!! | 0.12% | 2 |
| none of my business | 0.12% | 2 |
| NA: Don't take advice from Random people | 0.06% | 1 |
| get him help asap! | 0.06% | 1 |
| weird N/A | 0.06% | 1 |
| You have to make that decision | 0.06% | 1 |
| no comment is my comment | 0.06% | 1 |
| tell him to get help or else you will leave and stick to it. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Too complicated to respond to. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Not my business or my problem | 0.06% | 1 |
| Get him help before he hurts you or himself | 0.06% | 1 |
| You expect us to read all that? | 0.06% | 1 |
| I can't choose for you | 0.06% | 1 |
| RUN | 0.06% | 1 |
| YES/NO | 0.06% | 1 |
| Ya need medical help. He needs to be seen. | 0.06% | 1 |
| do not know | 0.06% | 1 |
| If you are asking I think you made up your mind. | 0.06% | 1 |
| if no physical harm to you, try to help him through it | 0.06% | 1 |
| Are you at fault or only him? | 0.06% | 1 |
| You go to counseling and get professional advice and not depend on an anonymous poll from non professionals. That's my best advice and opinion. This is too important for all involved - you, him and your child. Get real help. | 0.06% | 1 |
| You sound as nuts as he is. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Not my place | 0.06% | 1 |
| Appreciate your loyalty--but he needs to want help. Is he willing to try counseling? | 0.06% | 1 |
| Why do you want me to decide? | 0.06% | 1 |
| ACUTE SCHIZOPHRENIC PARANOIA, IHAVE IT TOO AND IVE NEVER HAD ANY RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE | 0.06% | 1 |
| hard to say | 0.06% | 1 |
| Talk to your doctor for advice. | 0.06% | 1 |
| try for a while | 0.06% | 1 |
| Up to you | 0.06% | 1 |
| I hope there be support.sheltet.therapy.but you cant leave like this. | 0.06% | 1 |
| nothing | 0.06% | 1 |
| get him help | 0.06% | 1 |
| Give him an ultimatum: Either you get some serious help or I walk. Period. | 0.06% | 1 |
| wow | 0.06% | 1 |
| counselling | 0.06% | 1 |
| Too much BS to read. | 0.06% | 1 |
| I' not going to read a paragrapg that lnog for five pointys but will point out that a child deserves a married mother and father. | 0.06% | 1 |
| TMI | 0.06% | 1 |
| Not my business | 0.06% | 1 |
| Counseling may help but he would have to want it. | 0.06% | 1 |
| could you have made this any longer??? | 0.06% | 1 |
| Get help. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Get him to a mental health doctor! | 0.06% | 1 |
| No idea what you should do. | 0.06% | 1 |
| No comments | 0.06% | 1 |
| dont care | 0.06% | 1 |
| Let him know that you are there for him but can't live with him in this state. Offer to go to therapy with him, and if he refuses to go then leave. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Praying for you and your important decision | 0.06% | 1 |
| Sorry, this is personal. | 0.06% | 1 |
| It's a decision that only you can make. WE can't make for you. I know. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Not enough information | 0.06% | 1 |
| Talk it over with a therapist and see what they recommend that you do. | 0.06% | 1 |
| seek counsel for both | 0.06% | 1 |
| If necessary, call police to get him to a mental health facility. Once he is there for awhile, ask the doctor what his prognosis is, and decide from there. Good luck. You are a very caring person. | 0.06% | 1 |
| It's a personal decision. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Trust your heart | 0.06% | 1 |
| Get therapist advice | 0.06% | 1 |
| Zzzzz | 0.06% | 1 |
| poor choices equal more poor choices | 0.06% | 1 |
| This is not appropriate | 0.06% | 1 |
| Tough choice | 0.06% | 1 |
| not interested in personal turmoil | 0.06% | 1 |
| We are not councillors | 0.06% | 1 |
| go see a professional | 0.06% | 1 |
| too much reading | 0.06% | 1 |
| I know it's hard, been on both ends of this ... i stayed but regretted it | 0.06% | 1 |
| Do whatever you think is best. | 0.06% | 1 |
| You decide | 0.06% | 1 |
| Have him forcibly taken to get help | 0.06% | 1 |
| Professional help is needed | 0.06% | 1 |
| that was TOO much to read | 0.06% | 1 |
| get medical help | 0.06% | 1 |
| Go to counseling together | 0.06% | 1 |
| Think about your options and take responsibility for your OWN decisions. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Trial separation. | 0.06% | 1 |
| So many words.... | 0.06% | 1 |
| get help for yourself first to learn how to cope if that fails you know you tried everything then leave for your own health | 0.06% | 1 |
| SEEK HELP FOR HIM ASAP | 0.06% | 1 |
| I'm not reading this book to answer one question | 0.06% | 1 |
| Get professional help not survey feedback! | 0.06% | 1 |
| Get him to a psychologist. He sounds schizophrenic | 0.06% | 1 |
| I don't want to give advice when I don't know any of you personally | 0.06% | 1 |
| NONE | 0.06% | 1 |
| Get married | 0.06% | 1 |
| No clue | 0.06% | 1 |
| Only you can make that decision. | 0.06% | 1 |
| consult a professional | 0.06% | 1 |
| Ask him to get help and if he refuses then go. It may be the wake up call he needs to seek help for himself. | 0.06% | 1 |
| too hard to decide | 0.06% | 1 |
| get counsuling | 0.06% | 1 |
| counseling | 0.06% | 1 |
| no idea, it is up to you. | 0.06% | 1 |
| IT IS VERY EASY FOR A PERSON ON THE OUTSIDE TO SAY WAHT YOU SHOULD DO, BECAUSE WE ARE NOT LIVING YOUR'S OR YOUR PARTNER'S LIVES. I would suggest for you to seek professional help , and gradually include your partner | 0.06% | 1 |
| What is your gut feeling tell you? | 0.06% | 1 |
| I find this poll out of place for Tellwut | 0.06% | 1 |
| It looks demonic, the spirit of doubting. Fast and pray and get your life back. Jesus can heal anyone and anything.. you will overcome this.. | 0.06% | 1 |
| . | 0.06% | 1 |
| Sorry for what you're going through. Things happen to people. He's a different person then the one uou first met. It sounds like psychotic episodes He's been having. Whatever is causing the behavior & his trying to reach out by hurting you. | 0.06% | 1 |
| go with yout gut feeling | 0.06% | 1 |
| I'm sorry, but I could not and would not read all of this. Tellwut is not a therapist. | 0.06% | 1 |
| follow your heart | 0.06% | 1 |
| Give him an ultimatum: Get mental health help or you leave him. | 0.06% | 1 |
| No way to answer this for you. Counseling if you haven't already | 0.06% | 1 |
| You have to decide what is best for you. | 0.06% | 1 |
| get him to a doctor if you can | 0.06% | 1 |
| Try to et him to agree to seeing someone who can help him | 0.06% | 1 |
| i don't give advise | 0.06% | 1 |
| Run as fast as you can!!! Don't look back! | 0.06% | 1 |
| Uggh | 0.06% | 1 |
| not sure what you should do | 0.06% | 1 |
| see a councellor | 0.06% | 1 |
| not reading all of that for 5 points | 0.06% | 1 |
| uncommitted. I recommend asking professional help to take big decisions. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Walk away, but perhaps stage an intervention first? The man clearly needs mental health help. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Please find a qualified therapist / consultant. | 0.06% | 1 |
| this is not the space to decide that! | 0.06% | 1 |
| Only you can make that decision--too many variables involved for a quick outsider opinion. | 0.06% | 1 |
| N/A for this forum | 0.06% | 1 |
| He needs therapy badly , maybe separate for awhile and see if it gets better with therapy | 0.06% | 1 |
| OMG | 0.06% | 1 |
| TOUGH DECISION | 0.06% | 1 |
| please consult with a therapist who can sort out the issues and the odds for you | 0.06% | 1 |
| Get a mental health diagnosis that may offer help with medication or learn it is a personality disorder and decide if you can live with it or not. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Too long to read. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Could please post shorter srories to read? | 0.06% | 1 |
| no idea | 0.06% | 1 |
| I just don't want him to hurt you physically. Maybe you can help him from afar. This is a tough one. | 0.06% | 1 |
| I WOULD BE CAREFUL N LEAVE WHILE I CAN BUT THE CHOICE WILL ALWAYS BE YOURS | 0.06% | 1 |
| book apointment with therapist and both of you go-- if he will not- leave or ask him to leave | 0.06% | 1 |
| Take him to a doctor. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Talk to him about how you're feeling. | 0.06% | 1 |
| see a counsellor | 0.06% | 1 |
| Has this man had a neurological workup? If not get one A.S.A.P. Not sure where you live, but a 51/50 might at least get him a ct scan. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Please be very aware at some point he may become violent. Pay attention always and protect yourself. | 0.06% | 1 |
| too long didn't read | 0.06% | 1 |
| I was not about to read all of that. | 0.06% | 1 |
| way too long to read | 0.06% | 1 |
| Whatever you decide, do not blame yourself. | 0.06% | 1 |
| ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE | 0.06% | 1 |
| If he refuses to get professional help you have to walk away | 0.06% | 1 |
| You need help and a buffer as you are in danger and we need a break in these situations. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Stay ONLY if there is a ton of therapy | 0.06% | 1 |
| Very difficult situation | 0.06% | 1 |
| Reach out to a mental health place it domestic abuse shelter for advice | 0.06% | 1 |
| You should talk to a therapist for your own health. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Get him checked out by a doctor. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Get hime help | 0.06% | 1 |
| THERAPY ASAP. | 0.06% | 1 |
| TL;DR Good luck. | 0.06% | 1 |
| I am not a shrink,you need professional help | 0.06% | 1 |
| Try to work things out! | 0.06% | 1 |
| Please use punctuation! | 0.06% | 1 |
| Tell him get help or I and daughter are out of here! Mean it!!! Do not bluff. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Do what you feel is best for you | 0.06% | 1 |
| Therapy | 0.06% | 1 |
| Too much to read | 0.06% | 1 |
| Run Fast | 0.06% | 1 |
| He's a grown man,why is his mother having a say so in his treatment? | 0.06% | 1 |
| Think about your daughters safety too. | 0.06% | 1 |
| Get him medical help, then decide what to do for your own mental state. | 0.06% | 1 |
| not applicable | 0.06% | 1 |
| It depends on many things.Look.after your security.I walked away with two children,. But never have found another partner and he kept nearly everything | 0.06% | 1 |
| Stick around to ensure you did what you could, within your means to make sure YOU and YALLS DAUGHTER are taken care of (i.e not homeless on the street) and then leave and help from afar | 0.06% | 1 |
| get help for him NOW! | 0.06% | 1 |
| You and your daughter | 0.06% | 1 |
| TOO LONG TO READ FOR 5 pts!!!!! | 0.06% | 1 |
| Get him help ASAP | 0.06% | 1 |
| I wish I could help! | 0.06% | 1 |
| I don't know how you got there in the first place. I always felt one should really get to know the person before you got married. Not live with someone with out | 0.06% | 1 |
| All that for 5 ******* points? Get a life! | 0.06% | 1 |
| He needs to get help | 0.06% | 1 |
| ? | 0.06% | 1 |
| You may have to have him comitted as a last resort | 0.06% | 1 |
| YOUR CHOICE. . .GOOD LUCK | 0.06% | 1 |
| Yes he needs help, it's not normal , you need to be strong o get him the help he needs. | 0.06% | 1 |
| leave before he gets physically abusive and hurts or even kills you I'm sorry to say that but I've seen it happen so for the love of God RUN!!! | 0.06% | 1 |
| DONT CARE !! | 0.06% | 1 |
| too long to read | 0.06% | 1 |
| Seek help | 0.06% | 1 |
| I could not possibly comment on this. | 0.06% | 1 |
Comments