Results: Child Abuse, Child Neglect, or ? Part II

I have wanted, from day 1, to do a survey on this and will appreciate all comments. In 1993, my ex and I received a gift card to Nordstrom. We purchased 23 dress shirts for the "ex". I washed, dried, then ironed each one, hanging them up as I ironed them. At the time, Mallory was almost 1 year old. We had a large sectional couch and since she did not like to be confined (like in a baby crib) we positioned the couch pieces to keep her in the living room. I had the ironing board and iron set up in the dining room. The last shirt was done, I unplugged the iron, and proceeded to hang up the last shirt in the bedroom closet. ..... the very last shirt .... when I walked back into the dining room, there was Mallory sitting near the ironing board, iron on the floor next to her, with an obvious burn across her toes. She wasn't crying, and I know as I look back I was in morbid shock, immediately thinking what if she had pulled the iron on her head, coupled with how did she shimmy through the couch pieces. Because she cried being away from me, I did not take my showers until the ex got home and was a mess that morning. That and her not crying kept me from calling 911, rather I called the ex at work who had the money and the car, to come and take her to the doctor. My decision to not view the situation as an emergency was the fact that she was not crying. Please tell me what you would've done:

For one year, in 1989,I had gone on code blue calls and saw plenty of stuff in the emergency room. I saw people with broken bones sit for hours because no one wanted to treat them as they were uninsured and on doc in the valley wanted a malpractice suit, as stats point to many suits from those who are not uninsured. My ex was minutes away, so honestly, I did not see any urgency, in calling "911". Turns out it was a 3rd degree burn, which damages the nerves, thus no crying because there was no pain. "This is documented in her medical charts ... not crying and why". This single event is why I lost custody of my kids along with any rights to them. Even though I stopped dying my hair, getting manicures, using the tanning salon and adhered to a healthy diet and not smoking (during both pregnancies), my ex managed to convince our marriage counselor and everyone else that I was negligent, abusive, and never wanted to give birth to my daughter in the first place (this is why she does not talk to me). My kids never missed a doc's appointment, were well fed and dressed, maintained their vaccination schedule etc etc .... yet to this day, I have been unable to convince anyone of this truth. Do you believe based on that one day with the iron, that I did anything wrong?

Which do you believe is worse?

There were no other medical events that happened that would point to a negligent pattern in how I parented, yet, here I am ... without family, friends, and kids because of that one day, coupled with other lies that my ex made up. Do you believe that one single event should be seen as a pattern of negligence?