Results: Wise Words, Not Wise Cracks

"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."

"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for."

"Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently, and for the same reasons"

"Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun."

" You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to."

"I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself."

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"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. "

"Atheism is a non-prophet organization."

"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."

"Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town."

"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."

"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death"

"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little".

"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."

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"The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble."

"You are never too old to play. You are only too old for low-rise jeans."

"Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system."

"I have just learned that penguins are monogamous for life, which doesn't really surprise me all that much because they all look exactly alike. It's not like they're going to meet a better-looking penguin someday."

"I like my coffee like I like my men ... I don't drink coffee."

"In the beginning, there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better."

"Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?"

"Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside—to have a big heart and an open mind and a spectacular spleen."

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"Be so good they can't ignore you."—Steve Martin

"Take your risks now, as you grow older you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee this week on the treadmill, and it wasn't even on." ~ Amy Poehler

"You can't be that kid standing at the top of the water slide overthinking it. You have to go down the chute."—Tina Fey.

"Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything, or creating anything. Period. If you ain't desperate at some point, you ain't interesting."—Jim Carrey

"Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life."—George Burns.

"You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what that is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening—everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say 'I did that.'"—Ricky Gervais

"Whenever you leave behind failure, you're doing good. If you think everything you've done is great, you're probably dumb." ~ Louis C.K.

"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat." ~ Lily Tomlin

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of physical evidence we have that people are still thinking." ~ Jerry Seinfeld

. "As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes." ~ Mel Brooks

"People may hate you for being different and not living by society's standards, but deep down they wish they had the courage to do the same." ~ Kevin Hart

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