Results: Marriage Advice For A Successful Union -- Circa 1800's

It was important to maintain social class while choosing a spouse back in the day: "She who weds with one of an inferior rank in life has no right to expect that her friends will associate with her husband, or treat him with that respect which she may think his due."

Unless a woman takes the first offer she gets, she might end up poor, alone, and the butt of everyone's jokes: "Instead of that attention and consolation which her forlorn situation demands, the finger of scorn is…ever ready to be pointed at the antiquated virgin."

It was the woman's responsibility to let their future husbands know if they'd like to retain the rights of their own body, a shockingly new concept for the era, saying that, "It has been for so long a time an accepted idea that the husband's right over the wife's body was inherent, it is advisable for any young woman who takes the other point of view to make her attitude thoroughly understood by her future husband before she definitely takes upon herself the obligations of the marriage state."

Women were told to take a "fake it til you make it" approach to hopefully hone your hubby into a better spouse: "By preserving a dignified reserve in conduct, a forbearing silence on the subject of her wrongs…fulfilling as usual the daily routine of Christian and domestic duties, calm and unruffled — she will, at all events, strengthen her own virtues and elevate her own character. By such conduct she will also secure the respect and esteem of all around her, and possibly in time regain the heart of her husband."

Ladies were considered wise to take the vow to "obey" their husband very seriously back then. "A sensible woman, to preserve the peace and secure the affections of her husband, will often sacrifice her own inclinations to his."

Only women of a certain reputation would be seen in makeup and that "nothing would humiliate a man more than for his wife to appear of easy virtue."

Always look good, but not too good. The emphasis on a plain aesthetic wasn't just to make sure a wife appeared chaste, but also looking out for his funds by being "not too fashionable so that she strained her husband's pocketbook or appeared to be putting on airs."

It was also believed a woman's life could be in danger if they weren't properly situated between the sheets: "Any unnatural performance of this act is apt to impair the health of the female, and many women have been seriously injured and rendered miserable for life by the beastliness of their husbands in this respect."

If a woman is feeling "too frisky", she should should seek treatment from her doctor: "Every intelligent physician knows that conjugal life is the salvation of many women. Every specialist in the nervous and psychic disorders of women is aware that a healthy vita sexualis is the remedy for many troubles of the brain."

It was perfectly acceptable for ladies to let their husbands "roam" as much as they want. It was considered "in a man's nature to go searching for a new version of the girl you used to be before you bore him seven children and made the comforts of his home the envy of the neighborhood."

All of them are!

None seem ridiculous to me

A submissive wife is one whose heart is inclined towards satisfying her husband and who has made a choice to be led by her husband, to accept his authority and to be his helper in the broad biblical sense of that word. She does not seek to please her husband because she is afraid of his rebuke or rejection or punishment, but because she delights to please him and finds satisfaction in doing so.

For a man, a submissive wife is a pleasure to be around because she helps him to feel peaceful and contented, she is a reliable helper who can be depended upon. He can trust her with his deepest desires and fears because he is not afraid of her scorn or her rejection or her anger. He can relax with her because he knows that even when he makes mistakes, she will be working with him to put them right and minimize the consequences rather than using them to prove a point or as an excuse for rejecting him in some way. A man who has a submissive wife acquires a greater sense of self respect because he knows that she respects his authority in her life and she is not in any way trying to belittle him.

A submissive wife is one who makes a choice not to resist her husband's will. That is not to say that she cannot disagree with him or that she cannot express an opinion.

All of these do

None of these sound bad to me

We are equal partners in everything we do

We try to be equal partners, but sometimes one does more or less than the other

We have a traditional marriage in the sense that one of us works, while the other tends to the house/children

We have a submissive marriage

Not in a marriage/partnership right now

Not sure how to define ours

Other (please specify)