Results: "To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death." words often included in wedding vows. Can they withstand being tested? Part 5.
In part one we looked at "good times or bad times." In part 2 we looked at "for richer, for poorer." In part 3 we looked at "in sickness and in health". In part 4 we looked at "to love and to cherish." In part 5 we look at "until we are parted by death." This can happen at different life stages and each stage presents its own challenges. We can't control "when" it happens but can influence "what" happens. This survey attempts to explore practical solutions to the challenge of the death of a partner.
1.
1.
The loss of a spouse/partner early in a relationship may also mean the loss of a parent when there are children. This will obviously have an emotional impact which is beyond the scope of this survey. The other main impact is a financial one and what can be done to deal with it. This one is more controllable. Which of the following have you experienced or will now plan to avoid?
When I lost my partner it was in an accident and life/accident insurance helped deal with the financial loss. The kids had just lost one parent. I was able to stay home so they didn't lose the emotional support of the other parent.
4%
•
88 votes
When I lost my partner it was in an accident and there was no insurance to help deal with the financial loss. The kids had just lost one parent. I had to start working again or look for a new job to support the family. I was not able to spend enough time with the kids.
5%
•
114 votes
When I lost my partner it was after an illness and insurance covered the medical bills. The kids had just lost one parent. I was able to stay home so they didn't lose the emotional support of the other parent.
3%
•
58 votes
When I lost my partner it was after an illness and there was no insurance to cover the medical bills. The kids had just lost one parent. I had to start working again or look for a new job to pay these bills. I was not able to spend enough time with the kids.
2%
•
34 votes
Even though the death of my partner was unexpected we had prepared a financial plan and had wills drawn up ahead of time. It made sense to look after this ahead of time rather than deal with all this after the death when it was a very emotional time.
3%
•
68 votes
The death of my partner was unexpected. We had not prepared a financial plan or had wills drawn up ahead of time. It was very difficult having to deal with all this after the death when it was a very emotional time.
3%
•
63 votes
I was in such a financial mess after the death of my partner that I made some bad emotional decisions for financial reasons (such as looking for a new partner/spouse mainly for the pay check).
1%
•
27 votes
Other (please specify)
1%
•
26 votes
Not Applicable
82%
•
1801 votes
- As soon as I meet someone compatible. No rush. Family might think otherwise.
- just let it happen
- when it feels comfortable to you, don't worry about what others may think, life is too short
2.
2.
The loss of a spouse/partner in middle age may also mean the loss of lifestyle and retirement planning. This will obviously have an emotional impact which is beyond the scope of this survey. The other main impact is a financial one and what can be done to deal with it. This one is more controllable. Which of the following have you experienced or will now plan to avoid?
When I lost my partner it was in an accident and life/accident insurance helped deal with the financial loss. I was able to take time off to gain the emotional support I needed and deal with settling the estate.
3%
•
73 votes
When I lost my partner it was in an accident and there was no insurance to help deal with the financial loss. I was not able to take time off to gain the emotional support I needed and to deal with settling the estate. This was a very stressful time to be making long term financial decisions.
5%
•
111 votes
When I lost my partner it was after an illness and insurance covered the medical bills. I was able to take time off to gain the emotional support I needed and deal with settling the estate.
4%
•
78 votes
When I lost my partner it was after an illness and there was no insurance to cover the medical bills. I was not able to take time off to gain the emotional support I needed and to deal with settling the estate. This was a very stressful time to be making long term financial decisions.
2%
•
48 votes
Even though the death of my partner was unexpected we had prepared a financial plan and had wills drawn up ahead of time. It made sense to look after this ahead of time rather than deal with all this after the death when it was a very emotional time.
3%
•
55 votes
The death of my partner was unexpected. We had not prepared a financial plan or had wills drawn up ahead of time. It was very difficult having to deal with all this after the death when it was a very emotional time.
3%
•
61 votes
I was in such a financial mess after the death of my partner that I made some bad emotional decisions for financial reasons (such as looking for a new partner/spouse mainly for the pay check). This is a bad idea when you are middle aged.
1%
•
23 votes
Other (please specify)
1%
•
13 votes
Not Applicable
82%
•
1812 votes
- I would have to get into better shape first. Haven't dated since early 20s.
- I did lose my husband in middle age. I found my new partner in church. I'm an outgoing type of person so I can talk easier to people anywhere and I approached him.
- Have some GOOD friends who would step up.
3.
3.
The loss of a spouse/partner in retirement age may also mean the loss of lifestyle and retirement planning. This will obviously have an emotional impact which is beyond the scope of this survey. The other main impact is a financial one and what can be done to deal with it. This one is more controllable. Which of the following have you experienced or will now plan to avoid?
When I lost my partner it was in an accident and insurance helped deal with the financial loss. I was able to afford the financial advice I needed to deal with settling the estate.
3%
•
61 votes
When I lost my partner it was in an accident and there was no insurance to help deal with the financial loss. I was not able to afford the cost of settling the estate.
3%
•
70 votes
When I lost my partner it was after an illness and insurance covered the medical bills.
4%
•
90 votes
When I lost my partner it was after an illness and there was no insurance to cover the medical bills. This was a very stressful time to be making long term financial decisions.
2%
•
39 votes
Even though the death of my partner was not unexpected we had prepared a financial plan and had wills drawn up ahead of time. It made sense to look after this ahead of time rather than deal with all this after the death when it was a very emotional time.
5%
•
99 votes
Even though the death of my partner was not unexpected we had not prepared a financial plan or had wills drawn up ahead of time. It was very difficult having to deal with all this after the death when it was a very emotional time.
3%
•
63 votes
I was in such a financial mess after the death of my partner that I made some bad emotional decisions for financial reasons (such as looking for a new partner/spouse mainly for the pension check). This is a bad idea when you are in retirement.
2%
•
34 votes
Other (please specify)
1%
•
14 votes
Not Applicable
82%
•
1812 votes
- For practical reasons a platonic relationship might work. Cost sharing.
- At church, a senior center, the library, through a friend, maybe a neighbor.
- Ditto.
4.
4.
As this survey draws to a close do you see how lack of money can impact the emotional as well as the financial side of a relationship? Does it make sense to develop a financial plan and insurance to replace income just like you would insure any other asset such as your car? Your partner may be irreplaceable but the money is not.
Yes
38%
•
832 votes
No
5%
•
118 votes
Undecided
10%
•
212 votes
Not Applicable
47%
•
1038 votes
- Logical thing to do.
- practical
- A practical thing
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