Results: This survey is about close encounters of a stranger kind. Some people find it easy to approach and start talking to complete strangers. Some people seem to have some kind of attraction that encourages people to talk to them. Some people have the opposite.
Published on 11/02/2023
Far more often than random chance, people approach my wife and I and ask our opinions, ask for directions, ask to share our table in a busy restaurant etc. These people have never met us before yet they feel comfortable talking to us. The same thing happens to us individually. We seem to be attractive in the literal sense. We also seem to be good at talking to strangers and establishing a connection almost immediately. We don't know how or why this happens. We are just glad it does. But what is it that makes it happen and how common is it?
QUESTIONS
GO to COMMENTS
Comments
1.
1.
Are you an attractive person? Do people approach you out of the blue. Are you easy to talk to? Do you find it easy to talk to people for the first time? For example consider a busy restaurant with no free tables. Which of the following situations seem to happen more often for you than for other people?
Someone will approach you at your table and ask if they can join you. You agree and rapport is established almost immediately. You have an enjoyable meal but don't feel the need to ever meet again.
10%
228 votes
You approach someone at their table and ask if you can join them. They agree and rapport is established almost immediately. You have an enjoyable meal but don't feel the need to ever meet again.
7%
152 votes
Either of the above scenarios might happen. Rapport is established and the meal is enjoyable but you feel guilty (or some other emotion) if you don't make the effort to meet again.
7%
161 votes
Are you crazy? What happens when it is time to order or pay the bill? If the restaurant is that busy I would leave and eat elsewhere rather than talk to a stranger.
17%
377 votes
Other (please specify)
1%
16 votes
Not Applicable
58%
1266 votes
- I tend to avoid busy restaurants so it doesn't happen very often.
- None
- never
| Other Answers | Percentage | Votes |
|---|---|---|
| 1.07% | 10 | |
| i would wait in line for my table or order take out | 0.11% | 1 |
| We have asked strangers if they'd like to share our table. | 0.11% | 1 |
| depends | 0.11% | 1 |
| Depending on the length of time to get a table, I would wait or go somewhere else. | 0.11% | 1 |
| i would never ask strangers if i could join them | 0.11% | 1 |
| I've never had either of these situations happen to me. Hypothetically, I'd be friendly and not care if I ever met this person again. | 0.11% | 1 |
2.
2.
I was out walking the dog when I met a woman walking towards me with her bicycle . As often happens, she stopped and said hi to my dog or some other conversation opener. Maybe I asked why she was walking when she had a bike. Regardless of what started it we continued walking together and had a nice chat along the way. We hadn't met before and haven't met since. Does this happen to you?
This sounds weird. I would never talk to someone like that. They might freak out or something.
6%
132 votes
This sounds weird. Nobody would never talk to me just like that. I might freak out or something.
5%
100 votes
This sounds dangerous. Nobody should ever to this - never talk to strangers.
5%
101 votes
Talking to a stranger in passing is OK but joining them for a walk seems unnatural.
21%
451 votes
Talking to a stranger in passing is OK and joining them for a walk seems natural. if the vibe is right.
24%
524 votes
Other (please specify)
0%
8 votes
Not Applicable
40%
884 votes
- If it is meant to be it will happen.
- None
- yes and merely ok
| Other Answers | Percentage | Votes |
|---|---|---|
| 0.46% | 6 | |
| I am an intimidatingly large man and nobody approaches me which is tough. | 0.08% | 1 |
| I'd go with choice #4, unless we were both going the same direction already. Then it would be unnatural to not talk at all while we walked beside each other for some time. | 0.08% | 1 |
3.
3.
Are there people who are just not approachable? Do some people give off an aura that says "stay away" that can be seen or sensed from a distance. In a social gathering there will seem to be a wall around them that nobody will enter. They can appear lonely in a crowded room. Have you experienced that vibe?
In a social gathering I don't mind being alone. If I give off that vibe I'm OK with it.
15%
333 votes
In a social gathering I often see people alone. Nobody seems to want to talk to them. I wish I knew why.
9%
187 votes
In a social gathering I am often alone. I avoid social gatherings if I can.
16%
351 votes
In a social gathering I look for people standing alone. I try to make them circulate and talk to people.
12%
271 votes
Other (please specify)
1%
25 votes
Not Applicable
47%
1033 votes
- Yes. Some people just are not good to talk to.
- None
- No
| Other Answers | Percentage | Votes |
|---|---|---|
| 1.20% | 14 | |
| There are many times when people come up to me and start talking | 0.09% | 1 |
| Unless mandated (work function) this is a good example of where I say 'No' . And have no problem in saying it. I hate social gatherings | 0.09% | 1 |
| In a social gathering I don't mind being alone. If I give off that vibe I'm not OK with it. It's not what I'm trying for. | 0.09% | 1 |
| I often feel left out of conversation in a social gathering and try my best to strike up a conversation with stranges. | 0.09% | 1 |
| I don't attend social gatherings | 0.09% | 1 |
| I hate social gatherings, I'm inept re small talk. | 0.09% | 1 |
| i would talk to those standing alone | 0.09% | 1 |
| All of the above and none. I don't care or pay that much attention to what I do at any given time. Each situation is different. | 0.09% | 1 |
| I understand that some people are uncomfortable in social settings. I will go and sit and talk to them in a quiet area. | 0.09% | 1 |
| In a social gathering I look for people standing alone and say hi to them. | 0.09% | 1 |
| I seldom find myself in a social gathering where I don't know a majority of the attendees well. | 0.09% | 1 |
4.
4.
With all the electronic barriers/conveniences to face to face communication and all the TV shows, magazine articles, media warnings and other turn-offs, have we lost the art of conversation? Or are we overthinking it. Is meeting people as simple as just risking ones ego slightly by just walking up and talking to them in a public place? Can it really be that easy?
Sales people have a "closing ratio." of those they ask to buy who actually buy and those who don't buy. If you don't ask the person to buy you won't make the sale.
10%
212 votes
The crime rate turns me off talking to someone for the first time. (But in a public place?).
12%
258 votes
I don't know what to say (get a dog then or ask a question to break the ice).
12%
273 votes
It really is that easy once you decide to take a chance. Always in a public place.
25%
546 votes
Other (please specify)
1%
13 votes
Not Applicable
48%
1045 votes
- More difficult because of Me too etc.
- None
- For me it is much easier I moved into a senior apartment complex Most old people talk your ear off
| Other Answers | Percentage | Votes |
|---|---|---|
| 0.54% | 7 | |
| Introducing someone is an idea that usually works | 0.08% | 1 |
| Take a chance. | 0.08% | 1 |
| In todays screwed up world. Mind your own business. Too many wierd dudes with knives and guns. | 0.08% | 1 |
| Be yourself and trust your instincts. | 0.08% | 1 |
| You are totally overthinking these questions. | 0.08% | 1 |
| Other people often don't react when approached, or they resist starting a conversation due to fear. | 0.08% | 1 |
COMMENTS