Results: Can you remain "just friends" with someone you have fallen in love with?
Published on 02/06/2024
I have recently discovered that I have fallen in love with my best friend. The feeling isn't mutual, but he does treat me VERY well on a friendly level! But I find myself getting jealous of other females, and aggravated that he doesn't feel the same towards me. I wish I could just shut the feelings off! But I can't. And I feel like saying it's either relationship or nothing is very selfish of me and I don't want to lose him as a friend! But, being just friends is slowly breaking my heart every day. I'm breaking my own heart! Stay friends or cut him off completely?
QUESTIONS
GO to COMMENTS
Comments
1.
1.
Is it possible to shut off feelings for someone to protect a genuine friendship? Stop breaking your own heart and cut off the friendship!
32%
707 votes
Wait and see if his feelings change
24%
519 votes
Ask him his thoughts and see what he suggests
36%
800 votes
Other (please specify)
8%
174 votes
- Talk with him about it.
- Believe you have to be friends first...then remain so after all turmoil has ended.
- Enjoy the friendship but focus on other activities for the majority of the time
| Other Answers | Percentage | Votes |
|---|---|---|
| 3.64% | 80 | |
| NA | 0.45% | 10 |
| Yes | 0.36% | 8 |
| n/a | 0.36% | 8 |
| DON'T KNOW | 0.14% | 3 |
| I don't know | 0.14% | 3 |
| Not sure | 0.09% | 2 |
| Not applicable | 0.09% | 2 |
| No | 0.09% | 2 |
| Unsure | 0.09% | 2 |
| It really depends on you . When it happened to me, I chose to remain friends, and not ruin the current relationship. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Be patient. I was once in his position and finally woke up. We'll celebrate our 50th anniversary this summer. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Remain friends, but give him more space. Try to be less involved in his life and try to find something/someone else to spend time on which brings you happiness. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Every person is different with this. It depends on the individuals involved. | 0.05% | 1 |
| These answers make no sense | 0.05% | 1 |
| Be honest with him | 0.05% | 1 |
| Depends | 0.05% | 1 |
| Slowly wean yourself from him. You can't make someone romantically love you. To preserve your friendship, try to keep your feelings to yourself. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Stay friends...good friends don't grow on trees | 0.05% | 1 |
| could stay friends | 0.05% | 1 |
| Time heals any wounds and feelings, believe this its true; remember a relationship can’t be forced, you’ll begin to accept better decisions in later years. Growing through hard times helps us mature and understand. | 0.05% | 1 |
| No. | 0.05% | 1 |
| None | 0.05% | 1 |
| More information is needed | 0.05% | 1 |
| Stop with trying to make it something its not. If you can't then cut off the friendship. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Just be honest with him about your feelings and hear him out, maybe he has feelings the same, but just afraid you may not feel the same way. | 0.05% | 1 |
| go out with other people | 0.05% | 1 |
| maybe step away form the relationship for some time to sort your feelings out and go back if you are able to fall out of love | 0.05% | 1 |
| If the other person has a relationship you need to walk away. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Absolutly | 0.05% | 1 |
| I have no clue | 0.05% | 1 |
| I am a dear friend of someone I had deep feelings for! | 0.05% | 1 |
| Who knows | 0.05% | 1 |
| yes it is possible | 0.05% | 1 |
| Just because you are lusting after someone doesn't mean or give you permission to act on that. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Can t be done | 0.05% | 1 |
| Talk with him about it. | 0.05% | 1 |
| i don't think so. | 0.05% | 1 |
| ... | 0.05% | 1 |
| Spend less time together | 0.05% | 1 |
| No idea. | 0.05% | 1 |
| I don't care what you do. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Not interested. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Grow up. He treats you nicely and wants to maintain a longtime healthy friendship. Cherish that, and look for romance elsewhere. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Make yourself scarce for awhile and see if his attitude changes. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Stay friends | 0.05% | 1 |
| Hasn't worked out by now it's not going to. | 0.05% | 1 |
| All I did in that situation was wear the friend mask..knowing I wouldn't be that lucky. | 0.05% | 1 |
| drop it | 0.05% | 1 |
| Accept his friendship and move on | 0.05% | 1 |
| it depends | 0.05% | 1 |
| Take a break from each other for a while - a week, a month - decide this together. Don't just not see him without an explanation. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Don’t know | 0.05% | 1 |
| no comment | 0.05% | 1 |
| aggravated he doesnt feel the same towards you? you cannot dictate how others feel! | 0.05% | 1 |
| take a big break then see | 0.05% | 1 |
| Love them then leave them | 0.05% | 1 |
| remain friendly and stop having these jealous feelings Be GREATFUL HE IS YOUR FRIEND | 0.05% | 1 |
| The subconscious mind will do things with your feelings that you are not aware of until it blows up in your not self-aware face. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Step away for a time, do not end the friendship just take some space | 0.05% | 1 |
| It is totally possible. I've done it. | 0.05% | 1 |
| Start hanging out with other guys and less time with him but don't give up your friendship | 0.05% | 1 |
| There's something wrong in, wait for his feelings to change. I'm a guy. | 0.05% | 1 |
| No idea, has not happened to me | 0.05% | 1 |
2.
2.
Is it possible to persuade someone to have the same feelings? Yes
10%
225 votes
No
63%
1391 votes
Undecided
27%
584 votes
COMMENTS