Results: Life After death
Published on 04/13/2025
My wife & I talked about which one of us will handle life after the other one has died. That conversation prompted this survey.
QUESTIONS
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Comments
1.
1.
This survey applies to couples who are currently married and living together.. If this doesn't apply to you, just click "not applicable" all the way through & get the points. Are you married? Yes
45%
1036 votes
No
24%
557 votes
Not Applicable
31%
707 votes
2.
2.
My wife does most of the cooking & all of the laundry. I handle paying the bills & vehicle & house maintenance. We share cleaning the house. Do you & your spouse have a similar arrangement of tasks? yes
35%
811 votes
no
17%
398 votes
Not Applicable
47%
1091 votes
3.
3.
We've had conversations about who will handle being alone better when the other one dies. We both agree that I will. Who do you think will handle life a the death of the other one better? I will
27%
630 votes
He/she will
21%
474 votes
Not Applicable
52%
1196 votes
4.
4.
Do you both agree on who will handle life after the other one dies? Agree
32%
727 votes
Disagree
9%
217 votes
Not Applicable
59%
1356 votes
5.
5.
After the funeral etc. , the first thing I will do when she is gone is throw all out of the house plants. Then buy an old classic car. The first thing she will do is stop cooking the fabulous meals she makes & eat very simply. What's the first thing you will do after your spouse's funeral?
cry
0%
16 votes
n/a
0%
14 votes
na
0%
9 votes
Not applicable
0%
5 votes
Not sure
0%
5 votes
Nothing
0%
4 votes
stop cooking
0%
4 votes
Travel
0%
3 votes
none
0%
3 votes
Grieve
0%
3 votes
Sell the house
0%
2 votes
Don't know
0%
2 votes
Mourn
0%
2 votes
Stop cooking!
0%
2 votes
Cry.
0%
2 votes
Move
0%
2 votes
Have a party
0%
2 votes
I am not sure
0%
2 votes
I have no idea.
0%
2 votes
I do not know
0%
2 votes
Move somewhere closer to the water with a warmer climate.
0%
1 votes
Find a replacement!
0%
1 votes
c
0%
1 votes
no clue
0%
1 votes
Wow I think I would concentrate on living.
0%
1 votes
i will quickly remember whom truly wore the pants in the family, for her greater intelligence and will be lost forever without her presence in my dying days to follow. i will recall her ability to convey strong confidence at a whim.
0%
1 votes
Have an auction sale
0%
1 votes
Mourn my spouse's death and he would do the same.
0%
1 votes
Move, work more.
0%
1 votes
Never thought about that and won't know until it happens, which I pray will not be any time soon.
0%
1 votes
No funeral for either of us. I will greve for the love of my life.
0%
1 votes
I will throw out all the junk he has cluttering our yard and garage. I will unfortunately have to spend quite a bit of money to get things in order. I will stop cooking the fabulous meals since it will just be me.
0%
1 votes
Panic and cry a lot.
0%
1 votes
Well after my divorce I got another cat. The ex and I always talked about who would die first. We still do even after many years apart.
0%
1 votes
Not sure morn
0%
1 votes
Place an ad in the personals column.
0%
1 votes
Very good for me
0%
1 votes
downsize household
0%
1 votes
cry and grieve then handle the children
0%
1 votes
Have a sale of extra musical equipment
0%
1 votes
not married
0%
1 votes
Leave this world myself
0%
1 votes
Clear out my spouse's clothes, sell the guitars, and give away the car to one of our children.
0%
1 votes
Work on the paperwork for the insurance.
0%
1 votes
I would try to find a hobby that would keep me occupied and preferably one that would keep me socially active.
0%
1 votes
Cancel most of my cable channels
0%
1 votes
Get rid of junk and simplify and reorganize our home.
0%
1 votes
throw out all the excess clothing and other hoarder stuff
0%
1 votes
Take care of the grandchildren on his behalf
0%
1 votes
Sit and cry
0%
1 votes
Pray
0%
1 votes
If I had a spouse the first thing I would do is rest.
0%
1 votes
try to continue while missing her
0%
1 votes
No thing
0%
1 votes
clean
0%
1 votes
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
0%
1 votes
Clean out all the extra stuff he thinks we "might need sometime" but rare do.
0%
1 votes
get rid of his clothes, shoes and that ratty coat he wears
0%
1 votes
grieve and figure out how to handle all the financial husband does now
0%
1 votes
bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
0%
1 votes
Get a boyfriend with lots of friends to make up for all the years of no sex
0%
1 votes
I have already had this happen 21 years ago, I was widowed.
0%
1 votes
reevaluate all my financials
0%
1 votes
Rest and regroup
0%
1 votes
Remember our life together and cry. I'll be a wreck for months.
0%
1 votes
Probably move as we are now living in the country where my husband love it, but I prefer a more suburban life.
0%
1 votes
unsure
0%
1 votes
Close his storage units full of clutter
0%
1 votes
Have a glass of champagne.
0%
1 votes
This won't be the first thing I do, but it'll certainly be very high on the list: get rid of my husband's pay stubs from the 70's along with other stuff that serves no logical purpose... :):)
0%
1 votes
Move to an apartment so don t have to do any maintenance
0%
1 votes
Donate their clothes or do a garage sale
0%
1 votes
Put up her picture
0%
1 votes
order Hello Fresh
0%
1 votes
Cry for the rest of my life
0%
1 votes
Buy a camper van and travel
0%
1 votes
Stop cooking and making sandwiches, and no longer cleaning up after a 5 year old stuck in a 51 year old body. He's such a slob. And abusive...so I will also stop being so hyper vigilant and anxious.
0%
1 votes
Buy a bottle of nitrogen with which I plan to commit suicide.
0%
1 votes
Get out of town for a while.
0%
1 votes
about the same
0%
1 votes
Weep.
0%
1 votes
Look after my daughter
0%
1 votes
Sit around the house and do nothing.
0%
1 votes
Nothing different. I had been doing it all for some time because my husband died from dementia.
0%
1 votes
pleurer
0%
1 votes
I agree with her!!!!
0%
1 votes
H
0%
1 votes
I will hopefully get back to living again. My husband has Alzheimer s and I take care of everything and do everything for him and our lives and it is exhausting. He is a shell of himself now living in his own world.
0%
1 votes
Get rid of everything
0%
1 votes
settle all legal affairs and any promises made in our wills and then take a small trip northern Ontario to see my relatives and prepare the rest of my life to look for help or maybe sell our house and move to a apt to live out my days twiddling my thumbs and watching TV,,,l am like a hermit and never needed much
0%
1 votes
I don t know
0%
1 votes
She sounds right about eating simple, I would junk bunch of rat pack items/other junk out in the garbage
0%
1 votes
I have never thought about it. Maybe I should
0%
1 votes
. Will have to do everything my self after cremation. I am on just SS and will be on a tight budget.My grandson is single and will ask him to move in with me to hold down the place.Will miss him something more than anything. We have been married for 56 years.
0%
1 votes
stop cooking elaborate meals and eat simply
0%
1 votes
Zzzzzz
0%
1 votes
Clean out his closet !!
0%
1 votes
Go on a much needs getaway
0%
1 votes
I lost my first husband in 2004 after being married for 32 years. After the service I went back to our house and got the list of items he wanted given away. I invited those applicable people over and gave them what he had requested. After a period of time I gave the test to our grown children and goodwill. Kept some things that w!Dee special to me.. Moved. Now I am married to the love of my life, living happily in tenn.
0%
1 votes
Get rid of the cable bill
0%
1 votes
I would go for a long walk by myself after the funeral.In a short time, I would sell the house and move into a smaller space that I could manage on my own.
0%
1 votes
Make a small memorial garden.
0%
1 votes
Not cook much
0%
1 votes
I am widowed for30 years. First thing I did was give away her cloths
0%
1 votes
Clean out the shed
0%
1 votes
I hope I'll die first as she is my life, not just my wife. Not sure if I could go on if something happened to her.
0%
1 votes
Stop cooking dinner every night
0%
1 votes
I was in shock, I didn't do anything.
0%
1 votes
Put the house on the market. Once it sells, I'll move to be closer to my side of the family.
0%
1 votes
Grieve. Throwing out her plants and buying a car? What an ass.
0%
1 votes
Store all photos of him in the attic and replace them with other photos.
0%
1 votes
Clean out and donate clothes.
0%
1 votes
Set up cleaning services and never do my own cleaning or cooking again. Eat out or call in. I will wait a week to go shopping for new clothes.
0%
1 votes
stay at home
0%
1 votes
Threw out all his outdated clothes that he couldn't fit in and wouldn't let me get rid of.
0%
1 votes
Stop cooking and eat simple meals
0%
1 votes
CLEAN OUT THE CLOSETS IN THE HOUSE, DONATE ALL HER CLOTHES TO CHARITY
0%
1 votes
we have never discussed this. but. if I have to geuss, it will just relax and enjoy the peace and tranquility
0%
1 votes
Don't know and don't want to think about it
0%
1 votes
Pray for better Life
0%
1 votes
I have lost a husband before. I hibernated for a few months, and then came out of the dark to live again.
0%
1 votes
Get rid of all their stuff, sell the house and move to assisted living
0%
1 votes
YES VERY CONCIOUSLY PLANNING
0%
1 votes
GET RID OF ALL THE CLUTTER.
0%
1 votes
This is not applicable.
0%
1 votes
Have his kids come and get many of his family possessions. I have my own family possessions and I will keep a few things of his for myself.
0%
1 votes
j
0%
1 votes
go gambling
0%
1 votes
cry some, and move on
0%
1 votes
Relive all the special memories we share
0%
1 votes
Downsize to a smaller place.
0%
1 votes
Relax and find myself again.
0%
1 votes
Clean out her clothes and donate them
0%
1 votes
Cry for days
0%
1 votes
Return his security uniforms to his company. Give away his Knights of Columbus stuff. Give away or sell his video games, music and movies after going over them to see if they still work. Sort through his books. Sort his clothes.
0%
1 votes
sleep more
0%
1 votes
never cooking dinner again!
0%
1 votes
Unfortunately, I have experience with this. I for me there was only the one thing I tried to do was to keep everything that reminded me of her. I was afraid that I would lose that feeling of love that kept me going thru all the years she was sick. The good news is that even though she is gone I love her more today because of all of the little things she always did for me just because!
0%
1 votes
Idk
0%
1 votes
Have some fun
0%
1 votes
Buy a new couch, paint the bedroom and replace the carpet.
0%
1 votes
Find another woman
0%
1 votes
Go to the strip club
0%
1 votes
relax
0%
1 votes
attend more fun events
0%
1 votes
Get rid of all his belongings
0%
1 votes
go thru all the paperwork and take a timeout
0%
1 votes
call my bf
0%
1 votes
I will create a memorial in my living room to honour and cherish my husband's memory.
0%
1 votes
Sit and reflect on my new life
0%
1 votes
Cry and grieve for a long time. Then I will move on.
0%
1 votes
Move back east
0%
1 votes
Clean out the attic of all the crap he's put up there!
0%
1 votes
Get rid of his clothes and gain a closet!
0%
1 votes
too woke
0%
1 votes
Sleep
0%
1 votes
probably go to nursing home to be looked afther
0%
1 votes
I have honestly really never thought about that. I will probably look into going on a cruise hopefully with a friend or family member.
0%
1 votes
Depends on what season it is. If it's cold where I live, I'll go somewhere warm.
0%
1 votes
die
0%
1 votes
Find a hobby to keep me going, or volunteer at a local shelter helping others
0%
1 votes
Be in Shock!! Sell the business and move back to our other house.
0%
1 votes
Move to a smaller place and do more for physical fitness.
0%
1 votes
get a cat
0%
1 votes
Clean the clutter out of the house. He's a pack rat.
0%
1 votes
Probably set and cry for days and maybe even die shortly after.
0%
1 votes
donate his clothes to charity
0%
1 votes
Throw out all his clothing and personal items.
0%
1 votes
Not sure. Probably get rid of some of his 4000 t-shirts. Anything good will be donated.
0%
1 votes
Switch to simple meals that are still nourishing.
0%
1 votes
This is not something we talk about. Yet.
0%
1 votes
Funny
0%
1 votes
have a garage sale for all his junk
0%
1 votes
Get rid of his ski gear
0%
1 votes
Donate things of his I don't need
0%
1 votes
Try to carry on with everyday circumstances.
0%
1 votes
Also, stop cooking elaborate meals and eat simply.
0%
1 votes
Tell everyone the truth about him
0%
1 votes
not sure have to deal with it when it happens
0%
1 votes
Been widowed for many years and it's far better than my marriage ever was.
0%
1 votes
no change, have no spouse, and my ex-husbands are both long dead.
0%
1 votes
Sob uncontrollably
0%
1 votes
I will move out of the house And never go back
0%
1 votes
quit cooking the types of meals I make now
0%
1 votes
My X. Clean out the house
0%
1 votes
I don t really think about his - I don t really know what the first thing would be but maybe go to restaurants for food my wife can t or won t eat
0%
1 votes
At this point I don't know!
0%
1 votes
Probably follow her soon after
0%
1 votes
stop cooking so much
0%
1 votes
take up cooking for myself
0%
1 votes
good idea.
0%
1 votes
After the Green Burial and the Ceremony of Life is over, there is not much I would do to change things around here. I suppose, over time, I would have to get rid of some of her stuff and she does have a lot.
0%
1 votes
Spend more time with our children
0%
1 votes
Go to the Social Security office to get his higher benefits as a survivor.
0%
1 votes
sit and cry and look at pictures of what we did together
0%
1 votes
I lost my beloved wife in November. Unless you've been there ? You don't have a clue! The loss is beyond devastating! So if your ego suggests that you will handle her loss better than she would? You have NO IDEA !! From Don F. I pray you'll never have to find out!
0%
1 votes
Go back to PICKLEBALL
0%
1 votes
Move out of the greater Toronto area. It's too expensive to live here alone.
0%
1 votes
I will cry my outs out then eat a lot of ice-creams and drink Pepsi
0%
1 votes
Go to CA
0%
1 votes
If weather is good -- go to some type of sports venue in the area where the funeral was...
0%
1 votes
Start getting rid of some of the stuff in this house that belonged to his parents.
0%
1 votes
Mourn for a long time before changing things and getting on with life
0%
1 votes
take a vacation to places he didn't want to go to
0%
1 votes
donate her stuff that no family members want
0%
1 votes
Donate all of his clothes and items or give them away to family who would like them.
0%
1 votes
Get rid of A LOT of the "junk" in our home.
0%
1 votes
Learn to cook as good as my spouse and miss him forever and spend my time loving and hugging my pets
0%
1 votes
I will be mourning and trying to take care of my son.
0%
1 votes
sell this big old house and all of his farm equipment.
0%
1 votes
Sort everything out.
0%
1 votes
Think about her.
0%
1 votes
don't really know
0%
1 votes
First thing, buy a microwave. We have one, but it is far out of my reach as is many things (her house). Then I'll furnish the house for me, not others. I have other plans in mind, but obviously won't implement them until....
0%
1 votes
sell most of the stuff we own and downsize (we live on a farm and I would probably move into an apartment). I would enjoy a simple life.
0%
1 votes
Stop cooking all the fabulous meals that I cook now. Also get rid of all his junk and clothes I don't need anymore.
0%
1 votes
. Sell the house it is too big for just one person .
0%
1 votes
THROW OUT ALL THES PICES ETC
0%
1 votes
I will cry.
0%
1 votes
get rid of his clothes and junk
0%
1 votes
just die
0%
1 votes
I would free up the basement of all the things he hordes for 'just in case' situations.
0%
1 votes
Grieve.
0%
1 votes
I will clean up his mess (he's a hoarder) and then I will live simply but well.
0%
1 votes
Go tell his white her free drug supply has been cut off he is not coming to the next scheduled fuckfest in the car yet haves he dupes poor hoe will have to be happy with the man she lives with she has paying her bills .
0%
1 votes
Get rid of clutter. I try now but it is really difficult because he doesn't want to throw anything away
0%
1 votes
marry again
0%
1 votes
Sleep for an entire week.
0%
1 votes
Dance the Hora (just kidding)
0%
1 votes
clean the clutter
0%
1 votes
Allow others to help me with the heavy lifting jobs my husband used to do. Otherwise I will do what needs doing.
0%
1 votes
Be with family, and friends both his and mine
0%
1 votes
Eat more simply.
0%
1 votes
I'll watch hockey whenever I want to.
0%
1 votes
Go home and think about what just happened....
0%
1 votes
My husband has been mentally ill for over 20 years; in a sense, he left and did not know it. But I have grieved this profound loss, and time does not improve it. Because when we get older, it reminds us how alone we are. I hope you and your wife are happy for sure.
0%
1 votes
Sell off all his tools
0%
1 votes
Sell the house and either move in with one of my daughters & their families or buy myself a smaller place close by to them.
0%
1 votes
NO SPOUSE
0%
1 votes
Don't know, I have to think about it.
0%
1 votes
Mourn his loss
0%
1 votes
Get rid of all the unnecessary things in the house
0%
1 votes
Clean house from Top to bottom after a certain amount of time sell some things , sell the house down size to a smaller new home to live out my life .
0%
1 votes
Whatever I want
0%
1 votes
Move away
0%
1 votes
get rid of all her bingo dabbers
0%
1 votes
relax n turn of all electronics
0%
1 votes
Buy a tiny house near grandkids and life simply
0%
1 votes
What is wrong with you ? Who thinks about these things out loud (in a survey) ? if you and you wife are making plans now for right after the funeral maybe you should separate, divorce, now and live whatever is left of your life happily.
0%
1 votes
Will donate all of her clothes to charity so have room in closet.
0%
1 votes
I would undertake a Swedish death cleaning (d st dning), getting rid of everything I no longer need in order to live a more minimalist style. My kids don't really want most of the stuff we've accumulated.
0%
1 votes
plants give life to a home.
0%
1 votes
Not applicable.
0%
1 votes
A good cry is a reasonable response.
0%
1 votes
Not let her be forgotten
0%
1 votes
It's not to continue having things that remind me of her. Not because I didn't love her, but because life must go on
0%
1 votes
I haven't given it enough thought. Will probably recycle his clothes/shoes first.
0%
1 votes
Wish I'd gone first.
0%
1 votes
Put everything in order for the kids.
0%
1 votes
no wat you to know
0%
1 votes
I would preserve all of our fondest memories and special outfits so they'll last forever and will be heirlooms for our children and grandchildren.
0%
1 votes
sell most of her audio cd's and a ton of her books.
0%
1 votes
I would start to subscribe to a great many services that are out there, but stay within my budget
0%
1 votes
Throw all his books and junk in his man cave computer room out and clean the garage out and throw out junk in one of our sheds and take his clothes to a mens shelter.AND, not have the tv on all day & night or the lamp he keeps on all night
0%
1 votes
Travel a lot.
0%
1 votes
be lost
0%
1 votes
Focus on my daughters.
0%
1 votes
Cry, mourn, be depressed and lonely.
0%
1 votes
I don't have any preconceived ideas - probably move into a small home and then ?
0%
1 votes
Remove musical instruments - I do not play. Also, no more sci-fi books in the house.
0%
1 votes
sell the tools
0%
1 votes
liek it
0%
1 votes
Clean up the house and get rid of all the things she has collected over the years....my wife is a bit of a pack rat!
0%
1 votes
I will sell the house and the furniture and go live with my son he already have an apartment for me or my wife
0%
1 votes
move to an ocean location
0%
1 votes
Cry loud.
0%
1 votes
hell if I know
0%
1 votes
Just keep going in life as usual.
0%
1 votes
Try and find my way alone. After so many years together it won't be easy
0%
1 votes
i will sit in a chair and meditate and recap our lives together. no rush to clean out the house.
0%
1 votes
Bawl my eyes out
0%
1 votes
Relocate to live with my daughter.
0%
1 votes
learn how to use the streaming services for TV and all the darn Smart switches and products around our house that I never utilize myself
0%
1 votes
You both sound like you are waiting for each other to die. You could both live into your 90s. If you can afford the classic car, buy it now (unless you're counting on paying for it with the life insurance). If your wife is tired of cooking large meals, she should be able to at least cook every other day.
0%
1 votes
Stop cooking every day.
0%
1 votes
Yard sale, get rid of all unneeded things as possible.
0%
1 votes
So
0%
1 votes
Struggle to wake up and continue to breathe everyday...
0%
1 votes
COMMENTS