Results: Friendship boundaries
Published on 09/09/2015
QUESTIONS
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Comments
1.
1.
Did you ever have a friend /acquaintance who was in emotional distress but you felt that their behavior is the most contributing factor to it? Yes
50%
862 votes
No
25%
429 votes
Undecided
12%
200 votes
Not Applicable
13%
219 votes
2.
2.
Did you try to point it out to this person? Yes -out of desire to help
28%
487 votes
Yes - out of feeling superior and wanted to give them a zetz
3%
55 votes
No - I do not really care about what people do as long as it does not affect me
6%
108 votes
No - she/he is likely not going to change the behavior and all I will accomplish is that the person will get upset with me
22%
375 votes
NA - never had that situation
39%
673 votes
Other (please specify)
1%
12 votes
| Other Answers | Percentage | Votes |
|---|---|---|
| 0.35% | 6 | |
| yes, i felt i needed to do the right thing | 0.06% | 1 |
| no...the person was young and learning on her own | 0.06% | 1 |
| yes- out of exasperation. | 0.06% | 1 |
| if asked for help, yes. | 0.06% | 1 |
| you can't simply point something like that out. i have tried to help the person come to that conclusion personally. | 0.06% | 1 |
| i tried to help him | 0.06% | 1 |
3.
3.
Did you find it frustrating? Yes
44%
754 votes
No
10%
173 votes
Undecided
9%
146 votes
Not Applicable
37%
637 votes
4.
4.
If you said "yes" to the previous question, how did you deal with the person? Severed the friendship
15%
258 votes
Ignored these behaviors
28%
483 votes
NA
54%
927 votes
Other (please specify)
5%
82 votes
| Other Answers | Percentage | Votes |
|---|---|---|
| 1.43% | 25 | |
| talked to them | 0.11% | 2 |
| reduced my interaction with that person for a while | 0.06% | 1 |
| prayed for them | 0.06% | 1 |
| dealt with it in an empathetic way | 0.06% | 1 |
| said my piece and let it be...not a great friend anyway | 0.06% | 1 |
| just live with it | 0.06% | 1 |
| stayed patient but remained honest | 0.06% | 1 |
| try to understand more | 0.06% | 1 |
| let her do as she wanted and work thru it | 0.06% | 1 |
| talked them thru their issues | 0.06% | 1 |
| helped him for christ sake | 0.06% | 1 |
| i briefly pointed out where her emotions might be contributing to the problem and then dropped that part of the discussion. | 0.06% | 1 |
| tried to help until i realized they would never change; now i just let them be | 0.06% | 1 |
| stood by them anyway | 0.06% | 1 |
| tried to let them figure it out themselves. they seem to always work it out. | 0.06% | 1 |
| waited to be asked for help. | 0.06% | 1 |
| kept trying | 0.06% | 1 |
| keeping loving them and pray always | 0.06% | 1 |
| was there for them at all costs. | 0.06% | 1 |
| working on severing the frienship | 0.06% | 1 |
| don't talk very long when the person when the emotional distress is constantly talked about for hours | 0.06% | 1 |
| cut waaaay down on the friendship... | 0.06% | 1 |
| stood by them to support them and just be there for them until they were tired of living that way and wanted to change their life! | 0.06% | 1 |
| i don't play into that kind of behavior with this person. i keep contact with this person at a minimal. | 0.06% | 1 |
| listened - that's what friends do | 0.06% | 1 |
| tried to help the person | 0.06% | 1 |
| we worked through it. | 0.06% | 1 |
| be supportive, keep trying, and sometimes back off when it does not help | 0.06% | 1 |
| still remained friends, but distant | 0.06% | 1 |
| just spoke with her & pointed out a couple of things | 0.06% | 1 |
| stay as a friend and let them get through it | 0.06% | 1 |
| many talks | 0.06% | 1 |
| cried a lot but held on tight anyway | 0.06% | 1 |
| told him/her | 0.06% | 1 |
| talked to her about it. | 0.06% | 1 |
| it's really none of my business. | 0.06% | 1 |
| come to a place of loving them the way they are. | 0.06% | 1 |
| depends on the person | 0.06% | 1 |
| offered compassion, and a shoulder to lean on | 0.06% | 1 |
| took a mini vacation together | 0.06% | 1 |
| listened and was there for her when i could be | 0.06% | 1 |
| tried to be a good friend and listened to her. | 0.06% | 1 |
| i just told them the truth as nicely as i could. all my friends know im going to be painfully honest rather than tell you what you want to hear | 0.06% | 1 |
| called her all the tiem to amke sure shes ok | 0.06% | 1 |
| listened and provided advice when requested | 0.06% | 1 |
| listen but stay neutral | 0.06% | 1 |
| set boundaries on friendship, who long & how often we'd talk etc | 0.06% | 1 |
| hinted to correct | 0.06% | 1 |
| gave up | 0.06% | 1 |
| had a long nice discussion with her, | 0.06% | 1 |
| just listened | 0.06% | 1 |
| said what i needed to say to keep my sanity then went on with my life | 0.06% | 1 |
| tried to explain to them | 0.06% | 1 |
| try to deal with it | 0.06% | 1 |
| just tried tone there for her | 0.06% | 1 |
| trying to teach the other how to be more positive | 0.06% | 1 |
5.
5.
Do you think when people tell you about their emotional distress they want to improve their situation even if it involves hanging their behavior
19%
327 votes
they just want someone to listen and continue to do whatever they are doing
73%
1244 votes
Other (please specify)
8%
139 votes
| Other Answers | Percentage | Votes |
|---|---|---|
| 1.81% | 31 | |
| n/a | 1.52% | 26 |
| na | 1.23% | 21 |
| depends on the person | 0.35% | 6 |
| both | 0.23% | 4 |
| depends | 0.12% | 2 |
| depends on the individual | 0.12% | 2 |
| undecided | 0.12% | 2 |
| idk | 0.06% | 1 |
| depends on person/situation | 0.06% | 1 |
| they want to bounce off ideas to get another's input for change. | 0.06% | 1 |
| i have never been in this situation before. | 0.06% | 1 |
| searching for advice so they may be helped | 0.06% | 1 |
| i think people just need to vent. | 0.06% | 1 |
| n/a don't care | 0.06% | 1 |
| ......... | 0.06% | 1 |
| i think that people just want to be heard, and that they need their emotions validated. even if it's their own darn fault. | 0.06% | 1 |
| don't know | 0.06% | 1 |
| women just want someone to listen to them, men want solutions, communications 101 | 0.06% | 1 |
| it can be both answers depending on the person | 0.06% | 1 |
| only a few want help to change | 0.06% | 1 |
| some folks just enjoy complaining | 0.06% | 1 |
| it completely depends on the person...we all have different motives, we are all individuals. there is no 'blanket answer' for this question. | 0.06% | 1 |
| help me. | 0.06% | 1 |
| they want me to listen and pray for them which i do | 0.06% | 1 |
| they are trying to justify themselves | 0.06% | 1 |
| still trying to figure that out yet!! | 0.06% | 1 |
| they need an ear, and understanding. | 0.06% | 1 |
| some want u to fix the situation. | 0.06% | 1 |
| seriously? right - like everyone is the same. | 0.06% | 1 |
| some people just need an ear, but some are being dramatic to see what they can get away with. | 0.06% | 1 |
| sometimes they just need someone to listen and care... | 0.06% | 1 |
| some of both | 0.06% | 1 |
| i donno | 0.06% | 1 |
| they're looking for sympathy | 0.06% | 1 |
| it depends on the person, and the situation. sometimes its choice a, and sometimes its choice b. | 0.06% | 1 |
| depends on the person and situation | 0.06% | 1 |
| none of my business. | 0.06% | 1 |
| it depens | 0.06% | 1 |
| any/all of the above | 0.06% | 1 |
| unsure | 0.06% | 1 |
| mamy reasons | 0.06% | 1 |
| i think a little of both of the above | 0.06% | 1 |
| a bit of both | 0.06% | 1 |
| need a sounding board not necessarily advice... | 0.06% | 1 |
| not sure | 0.06% | 1 |
| they want sympathy and want someone to feel bad for them. | 0.06% | 1 |
| sometimes a bit of both, they want the results of change without the work of it | 0.06% | 1 |
| none | 0.06% | 1 |
| that they need someone to talk to. | 0.06% | 1 |
| they need someone to listen and to care without judging | 0.06% | 1 |
| dont know | 0.06% | 1 |
| their motivation depends on the person | 0.06% | 1 |
COMMENTS