Results: A Parrot's Adventures with Identity Theft

The African Grey parrot I inherited sounds so much like my mother and father that sometimes I couldn't tell if it was them or the bird speaking if I wasn't in the same room. At first I refused to take ownership of him, thinking it would freak me out to live with their voices after they passed. But here I am, listening to my dad tell me "good night" each evening. Would that bother you?

My father described in his journal how he taught the parrot everyone's names: The process involved my lightly tapping Bongo on his head and saying his name, followed by tapping my own head and saying my name, and, finally, by tapping Peggy's head and saying her name. At the same time, we practiced greetings: "Hello, Mel", "Hello, Peggy", and "Hello Bongo". Once Bongo figured out what was going on, he began greeting us when we came into his space, and in less than a week he had synthesized "PeggyMel", which he continues to use to mean "either of you." Research has shown that some parrots in the wild also give their offspring unique "peep" names, and the chicks learn to identify their siblings and parents by these names. Are you surprised to hear this?

As my parents got older, they began to order more food for delivery. It's a bad habit Bongo picked up from them, and he doesn't seem to care about the cost. I caught him one day on top of his cage trying to order snacks. "(telephone ringing sound) Yes. Almonds, Thank you" And then he rattled off some numbers. I wrote them down and went into detective mode. Not my parents' old street address, not their phone number … I finally figured out it was the first 8 digits of my mother's credit card, with just two numbers transposed. What would you do?